Do or Die
by Snitchy McSnitchsnitch
Summary: Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
1. Chapter 1

I'm not giving up on my other stories, just want to write something a tad different. Enjoy it, or hate it...:)

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_Epilouge:_

_A dark hooded figure strode towards a small home that was lit up. He smiled briefly, wondering if his occupant knew what was coming for her or if he would catch her unawares. Moving silently, he made his way into the home to find, though it was lit up like the brightest July afternood, it seemed quite empty. He cast a look around and on a case of stairs descending upwards he saw his prey. A beautiful young witch stood in on the third step down, her long blonde hair cascading down her back and face in a deshelved mess, her blue eyes flashing at him angrily, a small pointed chin jutting out in definace. Her stature was small, she was slim and of an average height, and if it weren't for the look of pure defiance written all over her face he never would have believed this little girl had bested seven of his Death Eaters at once, and killed twelve of them altogether._

_"This...this is what my Death Eaters fear to face?" He laughed, cold and hard, filling her chest with a fear she was determined to not let show. "A mere girl?"_

_She stood utterly still, wand out though she knew it would be useless. No one lived once Voldermort decided to kill them, and he had visited her personally. She felt a twinge of guilt, she had made a promise to be safer, cause less trouble. She knew it would always come down to this, once she killed the first Death Eater, though it had been a pure accident._

_"Perhaps you should find better duelers, Riddle," she sneered. If death was to come for her tonight she would not let it find her broken and beaten on the floor, begging for her life. Death would find her with her dignity still intact, and would take her with grace and poise._

_Voldermort hissed venomously. "You dare use my name you filthy blood traitor? You are not worthy to stand before me!"_

_She smiled, stepping down one step casually. "I think it is the other way around. You, Mr. Riddle, are not worthy to stand before me. I have lived a life much more worthy than you have."_

_His cold laugh filled the room again, but she did not feel chilled. "You could not possibly dream the life I lived. The life I shall continue to live after I snuff out your pathetic excuse of one tonight. You see...I shall continue on, but you have precious minutes left."_

_"My few minutes will mean more to the world than your whole life ever will," she stepped down onto the bottom step, her wand still pointed._

_"Do you think you can out duel me?"_

_She smiled again, a pretty smile. "I do not hold such deliusions. I am not prepared to admit defeat, however, just because you happened to come to call tonight."_

_He smiled back at her. He would have admired her courage, and he made a decision, one he knew she would not accept. "I do not see bravery like yours amongst my most devoted followers...join me, I can give you a scope for your abilities, give you wealth you have never dreamed of, put your bravery to good use, join me instead, and I will spare your life."_

_She laughed out loud. She hadn't expected that, and she laughed when she heard the words come out of her mouth. "I don't think I could do justice to your cause. I'm pretty against everything you stand for, as you might have noticed. I've put my bravery to good use, I don't wish to waste my life."_

_His eyes glittered and he raised his wand. "Very well. Any last words, and pleas to spare your life?"_

_She appeared thoughful for a second before she stepped down onto the landing. "I hope you rot in hell."_

_"ADVADA KEDAVRA!"_

_Her body hit the floor, but he did not pause to watch it land. He only stopped to shoot his mark into the sky, a warning to all her comrads of what was waiting for them next. If he had paused to look back, he would have seen her land gracefully on the floor, almost as if death himself was catching her gently into his arms. Her face was still lit with her smile that reached up to her eyes that seemed to suggest that, though he may have killed her, she still had won...  
_


	2. New friends

"Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil."  
-- Baltasar Gracian (1647)

A young girl of eleven stepped onto the train for the very first time, having just bid her parents good bye. She was small for an eleven year old, with waist length blond hair and bright blue eyes that looked around apprehensively. She didn't know anybody yet, and no body knew her, and so, with that in mind, she made her way down the halls until she found an empty compartment. She sat close to the window and stared out, starting to feel gloomy with anticipation. She had been waiting for this moment for eleven long years, and now that it was here she didn't know if she wanted it as much anymore. She thought perhaps no one would like her and she would spend the next seven years alone and miserable, while being at the bottom of her class and possibly in Hufflepuff.

Her worried musing were interrupted by another small girl with firey red hair and almond shaped eyes. "Mind if I sit here?" she asked quietly.

"Not at all," she responded, gesturing to the seats near her, all of which were empty. The red head sat down next to her and began also looking out at the scenery flying by.

"I'm Lily Evans," she said, offering a small hand out.

"Dorcas Meadowes," she responded, shaking her hand.

"Are you from a wizarding family?" Lily asked.

"We're half and half. Mums a muggle, dads a wizard," Dorcas responded thoughtfully. "What about you?"

"Muggle born," Lily said looking gloomy.

"I don't think it will matter much, though," Dorcas said, trying to cheer her up.

"You think?"

"Oh, sure! I mean, once you get there we're all on equal footing aren't we?"

Lily seemed quite cheered by this news. "You're probably right!"

Dorcas smiled. "Um, Lily, do you think the name Dorcas is a bit...old fashioned?" she looked down at her feet.

Lily frowned. "No. It's unusual, it's really pretty! You're probably the only one at Hogwarts, so that makes you unique, doesn't it?"

Dorcas became quite cheered by this as well. The two girls spent the next several hours chatting about anything and everything they could think of. Dorcas had forgotten all of her fears in her new found friendship with Lily Evans. Lily was smart and interesting and Dorcas was funny and sarcastic, and together the two played off each other perfectly. They didn't seem to be at a loss for words the whole time.

Just after the girls pulled on their robes, still chatting animatedly about Quidditch, a game Lily knew nothing about, two boys walked in. One had jet black hair that seemed a bit messy, the other with the same color, but his was falling haphazardly into his eyes. Both, however, were very good looking, even for eleven year olds.

"Can we help you?" Dorcas eyed them both warily. Lily seemed to be doing the same.

"You could let us sit a second in here, just finished hexing a boy. He's a real slimy git," the longer haired boy seemed smug about this. Lily looked offended and put her hands on her hips.

"You're already hexing people?! You'll be in trouble before you even get there!"

"Ah, it'll be worth it though," the messy haired boy was looking at Lily with interest.

"What did he do?" asked Dorcas, interested in the fact that both of these boys seemed to be able to do real magic.

"He's just really foul, if you saw him you would know," the messy one said again. "James Potter, by the way."

"Sirius Black."

"Wait. So you hexed someone simply because of the way he looks?" Lily looked outraged.

"Sounds about right," laughed Sirius, and the two walked out.

"Be seeing you around, I expect!" James called back to Lily, who gave a disgusted noise back.

"Hopefully they aren't in the same house as us," Dorcas muttered to Lily as they stepped off.

"Yeah. Where do you think you'll end up?" asked Lily, looking apprehensive as they followed the yells of "FIR'S YEARS THIS WAY!" towards several boats.

"I dunno. I expect they're all pretty good to be in," Dorcas responded, but she knew that that wasn't intirely true. She didn't want her own personal prejudices to influence Lily, though, so she was not going to say a bad word against any house, no matter how awful she thought being a Slytherin might be.

"I've read a fair amount about each house, I think some sound better than others," Lily said back as the two climbed into a boat.

"Oh yeah? Which ones did you think were better?" Dorcas climbed in after her.

"Well, I mean, Ravenclaw sounded the best. I read that she was the one who came up with the changing floor plan and stuff in the castle, I mean, she was really smart. I've always been pretty smart, so I think I'd like to go there."

Dorcas had considered this, but she didn't think she would end up there. "With my luck I'll be in Hufflepuff."

"I rather like the idea of Hufflepuff," another girl, a brunette, had climbed into the boat with Lily and Dorcas. "It's all about fair play and hard work and friendship...I mean, that's better than being a Slytherin."

"Slytherin would be better than Hufflepuff, in my opinion," Dorcas retorted. "At least to get there you're cunning and clever. Hufflepuff just takes anyone who doesn't fit in the other three."

"That's not true!"

"Yeah it is. I'd rather be a Slytherin a hundred times than be a Hufflepuff once," Dorcas swore passionately.

The brunette stopped talking as their boat began to sail off. The three sat in silence until they reached the castle. The brunette girl stalked off, and Dorcas wasn't sorry to see her go.

"I think you made her mad," Lily commented with a small laugh as they set off for the castle. Everyone was milling around, chattering anxiously. Dorcas noticed James and Sirius from the train, both of whom were talking loudly about Gryffindor house to anyone who would listen. Dorcas noticed that when Lily saw, she rolled her eyes and turned her back on them.

"Gryffindor wouldn't be bad, either," Dorcas said to her.

"It would be if those two are there," she cast them both an evil glance again.

They were ushered into the Great Hall, which was more amazing than Dorcas had realized, and her and Lily stared in amazement at it all, ignoring the older students staring at them. Dorcas and Lily had stand on tip toes to see above the other students heads to see a hat sitting on a stool, and both jumped when it began singing.

When it finished, McGonagall began calling names off her scroll. Dorcas turned quickly to Lily. "If we get sorted into seperate houses lets still remain friends, alright?"

Lily nodded fervently. "Of course."

"BLACK, SIRIUS!"

Both girls heads snapped forward to see him saunter over to the stool. The hat stayed on his head for a moment before it screamed out, "GRYFFINDOR!" He seemed more than pleased about this and took a seat at the furthest table on the right. Dorcas noticed there seemed to be an outrage going on about this at a different table. A pretty girl had just screamed "WHAT?!" followed by several explicatives, causing the teachers to halt the sorting until they could calm everyone else down.

"Figures he would make a huge scene, doesn't it?" Lily muttered angrily as if it were Sirius' fault for the tables outrage. Dorcas did notice, however, that he didn't seem to be too upset by what was going on.

"He does look rather pleased," she noted as the sorting continued.

"EVANS, LILY!"

"Wish me luck!" she said, making her way to the hat. Dorcas watched eagerly, waiting for it to scream Ravenclaw. "GRYFFINDOR!"

Lily looked a little surprised, but pleased none the less, and with a smile at Dorcas, made her way over to where Sirius was sitting.

"Good. Do you two know each other well?" Dorcas looked next to her to see James Potter had somehow appeared there.

"We just met, on the train," she said to him.

"She's beautiful," he said in a blunt, honest kind of way.

"I don't think she likes you very much," Dorcas told him just as honestly.

"No, but she doesn't know me yet, either," he ran his hands through his hair in what Dorcas interpreted was nerves.

"Well...maybe," she conceded, though she doubted it.

"MEADOWES, DORCAS!"

"Good luck!" whispered James and Dorcas tripped forward and placed the hat on top of her head.

"Yes..." a small voice said in her head. "No questions about where you need to be...GRYFFINDOR!" it screamed. Dorcas broke out in a huge grin as the Gryffindor table burst out in applause again. She sat down next to Lily, who was seated across from Sirius Black.

Lily hugged her when she sat down. "I'm so happy! I was worried you were going to get sorted into Slytherin!"

Dorcas saw Sirius grimace. "Why did you think that? Do I come off as manipulative?"

"No, it's what you said on the boat about how you would rather being a Slytherin than a Hufflepuff," Lily said. They both turned to watch as the brunette who had shared a boat with them was sorted into Hufflepuff.

"Well, if those were my choices, yeah, I stand by what I said," Dorcas watched her sit down, looking rather pleased.

"Slytherin house is full of dark wizards and witches," Sirius said. "Did you see my cousin Bella screaming across the hall?" His face remained moody.

"That's your cousin?" Dorcas asked, looking at the pretty, haughty looking girl from across the room.

"Yeah, unfortunately. She's real sadistic, Bella. My whole family has been in Slytherin," he added as another brunette girl named Mary joined them at the table.

"I guess they'll be disappointed you weren't, then, won't they?" Dorcas sympathized.

"That's an understatement," he said darkly.

"Oh no!" groaned Lily.

"What?" Sirius and Dorcas asked in unison.

"Him.." but she didn't get to finish. Apparently James Potter had joined their ranks in Gryffindor, and sat down merrily next to Sirius.

"Well done mate!" Sirius laughed, and the high fived. Lily looked grumpily back towards the sorting, which was nearly done. It had sorted a boy named Peter into Gryffindor, but Dorcas didn't notice, she was looking at another boy sitting on the opposite side of Sirius. He had a dirty blond color of hair and tired eyes, and it seemed to her that he had lived years longer than he was old. He was watching the sorting like Lily was, with a glazed over look on his face though she doubted he was pretending to ignore James Potter.

Dorcas flipped her hair out of her face impatiently, looking at the last girl being sorted. She wished her mother would let her cut it, but her mom insisted that it was too beautiful to touch, so it stayed. A smile played on her lips as she imagined accidently on purpose cutting it and telling her mom it was the result of a charms spell gone wrong.

"Oi! You alright over there?" Sirius was waving a hand in front of her face.

"What? Yeah, no, I'm fine," she responded, looking at all the food that had appeared suddenly around her.

"You looked like you dazed out a bit there," he commented as he put food on his plate.

"Yeah, a bit," she admitted, scooping potatos onto her plate. Lily was paying emmense attention to her food while James talked happily to her.

"You want to see the kid we hexed?" Sirius asked Dorcas quietly so Lily wouldn't hear. Dorcas shook her head.

"Why would I want to see that?"

"So you would understand I am doing the world a favor, and stop thinking we're such awful people."

Dorcas swallowed. "Here's an idea. Just go with me on this one. How about you don't tell me who he was, and I'll continue thinking that it was a one off and I should give you another chance."

"It's that kid," Sirius ignored her and pointed to a small boy with dark curtains of hair. His skin was pale and almost sallow, and his nose seemed too large for his face.

"What's wrong with him?" Dorcas demanded.

Sirius seemed taken aback by her attitude. "He's a greasy git!"

"Yeah, I don't notice the difference between him and you, really. You two could be brothers," Dorcas commented, going back to her food. Sirius was highly offended.

"He could never be my brother!"

"Whatever you say," she said, watching as dessert appeared before them.

"He couldn't. I have a brother, he's nothing like that foul git."

"You don't even know him!" Dorcas burst out, angry. "You've barely met him and you've already made a judgement based on what you think you know about him! That doesn't seem wrong to you?! No wonder your whole family has been in Slytherin!"

The end of the table they were sitting at became oddly silent at the end of her outburst in an uncomfortable sort of way. Lily's eyes were slits, staring at Sirius. James' mouth was hanging open, looking from Sirius to Dorcas in confused concern, and the tired looking boy seemed almost amused, as if he knew it had been coming all along.

"Well you don't know me either," Sirius said in a quiet hiss.

Dorcas' eyes were wide. "I didn't mean to yell..." she started.

"Well you did. You don't know anything about my family, or anything about me," he said in a haughty immatation of his cousin.

Later, as Lily and Dorcas were picking out a four poster bed, Lily said, "Don't feel bad for what you said."

Dorcas climbed into bed, thinking about Sirius Black, and what he said to her. "Well he was right. I was doing the same thing to him as he was doing to that Slytherin kid. I'm a hypocrit."

Lily got into bed as well. "No, you were just standing up for someone who doesn't deserve to be picked on. That's what being a Gryffindor is all about."

"I guess so..."


	3. Oblivion

I'm fast forwarding, pretend I'm pressing the button...NOW! You see a whirl of color and then BAM. Here were are.

----

"L-O-V-E 's just another word I never learned to pronounce/How do I say I'm sorry because the word is never going to come out..." -3oh!3

A young woman stood on a sidewalk looking nervous. She had on a bright yellow dress with a black latex pea coat over it, black heels, and a large yellow bag slung over her shoulder. Her weight kept shifting from one slim leg to another, and her blond bangs almost seemed to obscure her bright blue eyes, which were searching for someone. Next to her was an even handsomer boy, if that was possible. His messy black hair was being set nicely to a dark green button down shirt and black pants. They looked handsome together, both with twin looks of concern on their face.

"You don't think they got lost?" Dorcas Meadowes, the aforementioned blonde, asked James Potter, the handsome man, next to her.

"No, I imagine they got held up," he answered, but his face still looked worried.

"We're running out of time, we need to leave James." Right as she said that a red head in a green and white striped shirt and blue jeans came walking up to them, a tired looking boy next to her in a blue shirt and jeans.

"I thought we were blending in?" Lily Evans asked, eyeing James and Dorcas' outfits suspiciously.

"Yeah, we are. Don't we look like muggles?" James asked, tugging at his green shirt self-consciencely.

"Muggles going somewhere fancy, jeez Dor, you stand out like a sore thumb."

"James' mom dressed us," Dorcas admitted, looking down at her heeled feet. She rather liked the outfit, and planned on keeping it for later uses.

"Clothing aside, I believe we are on a mission here," Remus Lupin interjected, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Is Peter coming?" asked Dorcas, hoping he would say no. Dorcas adored James and Remus, but could do without Peter, and occasionally Sirius. She had no patience for someone like Peter, who clung to James and Sirius like a parasite, though she would admit that as they had gotten older he had gotten better...slightly.

"No, he's in some trouble with the ministry," Lily said as the four strode off.

"What kind of trouble?" James asked, falling into step next to Lily.

"Underage magic is my guess. He's always in trouble with that," she fell back next to Remus and Dorcas took her place next to James, who sighed.

"Cheer up, we're going to see Sirius," Dorcas grabbed James' hand and squeezed.

Dorcas and James lived three houses down from one another, though had never realized it until they had gone home for the summer after first year. Consequentially, the two had become rather close, and while Dorcas was never anything close to a Maurader, she could have been considered his best female friend. This did not endear Lily to Dorcas, who, has the years progressed, spent less and less time with her. However, James had received a letter from Sirius informing him of his living situation, and Lily had agreed to come along and help, as per Dorcas'

"This is it...I think..." James said, eyeing a house warily.

"Isn't Sirius...really wealthy?" asked Lily, clearly disappointed.

"It's better on the inside, I'm sure," Dorcas told her, standing next to James.

The four stood their for the briefest of moments before the front door opened. Sirius strode out, looking handsome and harassed as his mother screamed behind him, "YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE!" and of the like. Sirius didn't seem phased as his trunk came flying out behind him.

"Of course I'm not mom. Whatever you say," he said back sarcastically as James and Remus rushed forward to assist him with his trunk.

"FILTH! THIS IS WHAT YOU CHOOSE OVER FAMILY!? FILTH, NASTY HALF BRED WOMEN, MUDBLOODS AND SCUM?!" she bellowed at Sirius' back. Dorcas was slightly offended.

"Nasty? I just showered three hours ago!" she called back, but Remus grabbed her arm and drug her up the sidewalk behind James and Sirius, who were carrying his trunk between them.

"Did you really need to bring the whole Gryffindor sixth year?" Sirius asked.

"I brought the three best in our class just in case things turned...nasty..." James looked back and Dorcas and flashed her a grin.

"Sorry 'bout my mum," he grunted to no one in particular as the practically jogged down to the London underground.

"Hey, we all have...unpleasant family members," Lily said, and Dorcas wondered if she was referencing her sister, whom Dorcas only knew a minimal amount of.

"Hear hear," Dorcas said, though she could not think of anyone in her family she particularly disliked.

"I'm taking a different train," Lily said much to James' disappointment.

"Are you sure? My parents would really like to meet you..." he said hopefully.

"No, but thanks," she said firmly, walking a different direction.

"I'm actually going to go with her, I want to make sure she gets there safe," Remus added, following her.

"You don't reckon he..." James eyed Remus' back warily.

"Not a fat chance, mate," Dorcas punched James lightly on the arm as they climbed into their own tube and began streaking off.

"Mum and dad are going to meet us at our exit and take us back home," James said as Sirius propped his feet up on his trunk of the ground.

"Excellent, I'm starving. You know, Dork, you didn't need to dress up just to see me," Sirius grinned, looking at Dorcas' legs.

She scowled. "And now I remember why we should have left you there to rot."

"You wouldn't do that, then how would I get to see your beautiful face?"

She scowled deeper. "You could take a picture."

"Yeah, but how could you see mine?"

"Alright," laughed James, but there was an edge to it. "Anyway."

The remaining week of summer passed without incident, though Dorcas stayed clear of James' home for the most part. They played Quidditch together a few times, but other than that she had passed the time at home, and was quite glad for the start of the term.

Dorcas sat in her usual compartment alone this year. Lily was head girl and would be doing those duties for the better part of the ride, so Dorcas streached out and prepared to take a nap when Sirius Black strode in.

"Hey Dork," he brushed his hair out of his face and sat down opposite of her.

"Dog," she responded, keeping her eyes closed.

"Did you know James is head boy?" he asked, watching her eyes open in surprise.

"No way? What happened to Remus?"

Sirius shrugged, glancing at her legs which were incased in jeans today. "Guess he thought James was better suited for it."

"I'm sure Lily is thrilled."

Sirius grinned wider. "Ecstatic."

They sat in silence for a few awkward seconds. "Is there any special reason you're in here?" she asked finally. Her and Sirius weren't on bad terms, they were on distant terms. They knew each other well enough, and she liked him when he wasn't being arrogant or a jerk, but they had never spent any time alone together unless they were paired up in class.

"James mentioned you might be in here alone, asked if I would keep you company," Sirius admitted, looking her dead in the face.

Dorcas looked away. She was no good at meeting the intensity in his gaze. "Well that was nice of him, but you don't have to. Seriously. Consider your self off the hook."

"Nah, I rather think I like being in here."

She frowned as the door opened and a handsome brown haired boy poked his head in. He seemed surprised to see Sirius sitting in there. "Hello Dorcas. Good summer?" He sounded nervous.

"Excellent Jack. And yours?" she grinned, wishing very powerfully that Sirius would go away. She'd had a crush on Jack Epson for the past two years, and had decided at the end of last year that this would be their year.

"Very good."

"Mine was good too," Sirius interrupted causing Dorcas' hopes to plummet. Jack was the captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team and Sirius had never really liked him.

"Well...er...good," Jack said. "See you around." He smiled hopefully.

"I will!' Sirius called back as Jack shut the compartment door.

"I hate you," Dorcas said quietly.

"Why? I'm doing you a favor, you don't need gits like that showing interest in you. He's a Hufflepuff for Merlin's sake!"

"Right. Doing me a favor like you did fifth year when you told everyone I was dating the lead singer of The Pixie Killers?" she demanded. She knew it was him who started that rumor.

"You don't know I started that!" he said wish a rougish grin on his face. "Though I still believe you did."

She snorted. "I'd have to be a supermodel to date him first of all, and at least ten years older! Plus you caused Allan Long to break up with me because he thought I was cheating on him!"

"Well you were, weren't you? Besided, he was a Slytherin, no great loss there," he said indifferently.

"Do you know how to be sorry for anything?" she asked, glaring at him.

"Sure I do. I'm sorry that you think I started that rumor, because I totally didn't. And I'm sorry that you don't feel you owe me and apology for spreading such slanderous stories about me." He seemed to be trying to appear innocent but was failing.

"Right," she responded, looking out the window. "But for the record, James told me you started it."

She heard him mutter, "Traitor," under his breath and smiled to herself.

"You are really pretty," he said suddenly several minutes later.

"Thanks?" she asked.

"So why waste it on losers like Epson?"

"Why waste my good looks on boys who respect me and are nice to me? Gee, no clue?" she said in mock confusion.

"Why not date a Gryffindor?" he asked, appearing serious.

"Like who? James is so in love with Lily I doubt he realizes there are other girls present in the school, Remus is dating that Ravenclaw girl, which leaves you and Peter. And no offense but...no."

"What's wrong with me and Peter?" he asked, offended.

"Peters....not my type...and you call me Dork, spread rumors about me, and last year you cut off one of my braids!"

"That was an accident," he said, not seeming contrite at all.

"Of course it was. It's never your fault. Why are you in here, Sirius, when you don't even like me?"

"I do like you!" he said, surprised she had jumped to that conclusion. "Remember, last year I saved your life from drowning!"

Dorcas did remember that. "And I thanked you a million times for that." She had been out with James on the Great Lake, helping him set up an elaborate attempt to ask Lily out involving very colorful fish when she tripped and fell overboard. If Sirius hadn't have jumped in after her she would have drowned, as several grindylows were dragging her down at the time and she happened to be wandless.

"We look good standing next to eachother, and everyone already thinks we are," he said quickly, not looking at her.

"They all think that because you scare anyone who is interested away," she retorted.

"Well, they're not good enough, now, are they, or they would brave me," he said boldly.

"No one is brave enough to stand up to you! You hex people into oblivion!" she told him hotly.

"I am brave enough to stand up to me," he told her.

"Have you been trying to scare yourself way?"

He stood up and walked to the door. "For seven years. Maybe this will be my lucky year. See you around...Dork," and he walked out.

Dorcas sighed in frusteration. 'Great,' she thought bitterly. 'Just great.'


	4. A moment of change

"The moment of change is the only poem."- Adrienne Rich

"Look at who you are sitting next to!" Slughorn cried merrily through the dungeon. Dorcas looked to her left. Severus Snape. To her right. Empty. Severus looked back at her. They started at each other blankly.

"This is going to be your new potions partner for the rest of the year!" he continued on, oblivious to the cries of disapproval now ringing through the dungeons.

"Erm...sorry," she offered to Severus, who was glaring at her with contempt.

"N.E.W.T work is incredibly difficult and not to be taken lightly. All of you in here have achieved a very excellent O.W.L to be here in the first place, and I expect the utmost maturity out of all you, that includes working well with whomever you chose to sit next to this morning."

Dorcas heard Sirius and James snigger behind her. In front of her Lily shot a lethal look back at them and then an apologetic look to Dorcas.

"You will begin working on your potion today. We will be brewing it over the course of the next month as it takes a whole month to mature before it is ready for consumption. Instructions are on page 16. Begin."

"I guess I'll get the beginning ingredients?" she offered. Severus grunted in response as he began to light the fire underneath their cauldron.

"Hey Snivelly, why don't you try and be nice? How often is a pretty girl interested in you?" Sirius said from behind him.

"That's funny coming from you, Black," Severus shot back. Dorcas returned with several different ingredients and began pulling her hair into a ponytail, oblivious to Sirius Severus' conversation.

"I can cut up the wordy roots if you want to start measuring the doxy powder?" she offered as she pulled out a sharp silver blade. Severus nodded once as he threw a look of contempt back at Sirius.

"Hey, Dora," Dorcas looked up to see Jack Epson looking up at her from his own doxy powder, smiling.

"Hey Jack," she whispered back, ignoring the reproving look Severus was shooting her.

"Oh my god, it's Jack Epson!" a high pitched, mock girly voice came behind her. She turned to see James pretending to twirl his hair in between his fingers.

"He is soooooo hot!" Sirius said back in the same girly voice.

"Do you think he would ever go out with me?!" James asked, pretending to look worried.

"You. Are. Head. Boy!" Lily spat at James, having turned around in her seat at their loud outburst. "Act like it!"

"Of course Lily. I'll do anything you ask me," James told her earnestly, but Lily had already turned around. Dorcas went back to cutting up her wordy root since Jack was no longer looking at her.

"He would go out with you though, Prongs. How could he not? Your a perfect human specimen," Sirius whispered behind Dorcas, though still loud enough for Jack to hear. Beside her Severus snorted.

"Is that funny to you Snivellus?" Sirius asked.

"Will you shut it and work on your own work and stop bothering everyone else?" Dorcas snapped, catching Remus Lupin's eye as she said it. He gave her a small smile before turning back to his own work, and she turned back to hers.

"Put the pieces in four at a time. I'll stir," Severus instructed. Dorcas began dropping the roots in four at a time as Severus stirred.

"Now what?" she asked, peering at her book.

"We need hellebore and a rat tail," he said, his eyes reading over the text. Dorcas scooted out her stool and stood up only to find James and Sirius' cauldron overturn on her.

"Oh," she said, looking up at Severus who staring at her with mingled curiosity and horror and then she collapsed onto the floor. Severus caught her before she hit the ground, and the look on his face indicated he had done it purely out of reaction and not desire to prevent her skull from cracking on the ground.

"Professor!" he called loudly as Sirius and James swore behind him.

"What is going on here?!" Slughorn asked as Dorcas' skin began to turn a blistery purple color and her mouth began to foam slightly.

"It was an accident," James began but Slughorn cut him off.

"There are no accidents when you two are involved!" he snapped. "Severus, take her to the hospital wing immediately. Potter. Black. Detention with me for the next week. Clean this mess up."

"I'll take her, professor," Jack Epson offered, seeing the look on Severus' face.

"Someone better take her now before the effects become perminent and she comes back to kill the idiots who did it to her!" Slughorn snapped, seeming frustrated with the turn of events. Jack took Dorcas from Severus who appeared quite grateful and began a brisk walk to the hospital wing.

"What happened?!" Madam Pomfrey asked as Jack set her down on a bed.

"Accident in potions. She got hit with-"

"Yes yes, quite lethal it can be at the beginning stages, doxy powder is quite damaging," Madam Pomfrey interrupted as she began applying a dark green paste over Dorcas' body.

Later that evening Lily, James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius were all walking up to the hospital wing. Lily was quite angry with James and Sirius.

"How did that happen?!" she demanded, her voice echoing off the stone walls.

"It was an accident!" James insisted. "Sirius just stood up too fast and knocked it over, we didn't intend for it to hit Dorcas!"

"I believe that last part!" Lily snapped. "You were meaning for it to hit Severus and you both know it!"

"You didn't hear what he was saying, he's a right foul git," Sirius muttered, giving them both away.

"See! You two will never change, will you?!" Lily rounded on the four of them, outraged.

"Lily, you don't understand..." James began. Behind him Remus groaned at the trap James was walking into.

"Don't understand what, exactly?! How you managed to become head boy or a Gryffindor?! Please, enlighten me James if you can!"

"Don't be so hard on him Lils, it was my fault," Sirius sounded bored because he was. He had heard these lectures a hundred times before and imagined he would hear them a hundred times again before they left the school.

"What a shock," she rolled her eyes and strode off again, the four following again.

When they arrived Dorcas was still covered in the thick green paste, but was awake.

"Oh god, what's that smell?" Peter asked, having not caught sight of Dorcas yet. Remus elbowed him, trying to hide the smile playing in his lips.

Lily walked straight over and sat down on the edge of the bed, ignoring the foul smell. "Are you okay?"

Dorcas nodded stiffly. "Would be better if I wasn't stuck her all night covered in...this stuff, but I guess that's better than being disfigured my whole life."

"Couldn't get a modeling job, could you?" Sirius commented from where he was leaning against a pillar.

"And then how would I continue dating George Farthington?"

"So you did date the lead singer of The Pixie Killers!" Peter said excitedly. "I knew it."

Remus chuckled.

"We came to apologize," James said, sitting on the other side of the bed. "We didn't mean to hit you with it, and we didn't realize it would be that bad."

"Meant it for Severus, eh?" she asked shrewdly.

"How did you know?" he asked, taken a back.

"Heard Lily yelling about it outside," she responded. He couldn't tell if she was grinning or not, the paste covered everything except her eyes and nose.

"Well we got split up now," said James gloomily. "I'm working with Severus now."

"Who am I working with?" she asked.

"Me," Sirius said. "I guess he thought you would suffer less damage if you were helping me."

"Great. So I'm going to be dead before we sit our exams," she muttered. Remus laughed. "I'm sure you could appeal his decision. After all, it's his fault you're sitting in here."

"Yeah, and ask him to work with Severus again? Sorry, at least Black will talk to me."

"Well, he is a git."

"He's not a git," Lily protested. "You should try and understand him better."

"Yeah. When grindylows fly, okay," Peter said.

"I could arrange that, if that is what it will take," Lily said under her breath.

"Visiting hours are over!" Madam Pomfrey shooed them all out. "You can see her tomorrow!"

"Bye," they all called, walking out, one by one.

"You know, I did you a favor," Sirius said as he began to leave, the last one out of them all.

"How do you figure?" she asked.

"Now you get to work with me for the rest of the year," he grinned, walking out.

"Lucky me indeed," she said sourly to herself.

The next morning Dorcas had been allowed to leave, and join her classmates at breakfast.

"I didn't miss anything important yesterday, did I?" she asked Lily, who had her charms book propped up against a bowl of fruit.

"Not really. Just a review of last years work, you would have been fine," Lily responded.

Dorcas sat next to her in silence, chewing slowly on some toast when she heard a loud explosion followed by several people screaming at once. Lily rolled her eyes.

"What have they done now?!" she said as she swung her leg over the bench to head towards the noise.

"It wasn't us!" was the first thing James and Remus said when Lily and several teachers converged on them.

"You're covered in powder," Dorcas told them helpfully.

"We were set up, I swear it," James said, his eyes darting for an exit of some kind.

"Potter I expected better out of you this year when the headmaster mentioned he was making you head boy," McGonagal shook her head.

"It really isn't his fault," a voice whispered into Dorcas' ear. She looked behind her to see Sirius looking serious.

"You don't honestly expect me to believe..." the look on his face made her trail off.

"When have I ever denied credit for a prank I've pulled?" Sirius demanded as he grab hold of her arm and dragging her off.

"Well...never," she admitted. Sirius let go of her arm and the two walked up the stairs to muggle studies.

"Exactly. That's a good bit of magic, but nothing a Maurader prank. I have to find out who framed Prongs and Moony and get them back!"

Dorcas looked alarmed. "Or, or, hear me out on this one. You could just let it go and prove you are the bigger man in this situation."

He just stared at her.

"Or not..."

"You're going to help me, right?" he asked as they reached the classroom.

"No, probably not. We don't get along, remember?" she reminded him as they took a seat in the room.

"We do," he frowned as if his past actions towards her were flashing before his eyes. "Okay, our past is a bit...sketchy, but seventh year is a time for change, and no one will suspect me if I'm with you."

She sighed. "I'm not getting a detention for you."

"I'm not asking you to!"

"But that's where this is leading to, and we both know it," she said sternly.

"POETRY!" the teacher practically screamed, making them all jump. James walked in with Lily and Remus at his heels. He looked calm and cool, but Lily looked furious and Remus out of breath.

"Sorry, we were...detained..." James flashed a smile at Sirius as he sat behind them with Peter. Lily and Remus went off to the side, both looking irritated with James.

"We will be writing POETRY today!" Professor Buggles was saying 'poetry' so forcefully that his eyes popped when he said it. "Think of a subject for your POEM to be read at the end of class, outloud."

Dorcas began working on writing her poetry. "Does it have to rhyme?" asked Lily.

The teacher shook his head no.

"Why wouldn't it rhyme? It's better when it rhymes," Sirius said, scribbing on his paper.

When the class was nearly over the teacher stood back up and chose Sirius to read first. Sirius swaggered to the front of the room, smiled at everyone, and then threw a wink at Dorcas. "This is for the beautiful, smart, talented Gryffindor named Dorcas who has agreed to help on a project of a sensitve nature."

"Is that necessary, Black?" professor Buggles asked.

"It's my title, see?" he showed Professor Buggles his parchment which apparently bore the same title. Dorcas slid down in her seat in embarassment as Sirius began: "Eyes as blue as skies and yellow hair like a corn flake, you don't make me question the how's and whys, as you steal my heart like Peter steals cake-" there were titters of laughter as Dorcas slid further down into her seat. "-Though I may be a sly and handsome dog, and have quite possibly no flaws-"

"You don't mate!" James called out merrily.

"When I see you I become stationary like a log, for you I would break all the laws. Let no man look upon your face, as we embark on our dangerous quest, you have agreed to help solve this puzzling case, and prove to everyone we are the best."

He handed the teacher his paper and sat back down to a loud applause, particularily from James.

"I hate you, Sirius Black," Dorcas muttered as James read his sonnet to Lily. "And I didn't agree to do it with you."

"How can you say no now? I just wrote you an epic, Shakespear-worthy poem! Plus now everyone thinks we're in love."

"No, everyone thinks your deranged, and they're right," she snapped, watching Lily who seemed to be enjoying James' poem to her.

"Please?" he gave her puppy dog eyes.

"Alright, but lay off on the poetry, alright? Oh, and leave Jack Epson alone!" she added.

"Yes to the first one, I can't make you any promises about the second one," he said as the class ended and he left to catch up with James.

"What was that about?" Lily asked.

"I have no idea..."


	5. How it's done

I am so mad! I wrote this whole story out, and then with one little virus it all went away! Always back your stuff up! Lesson learned! P.S. I am doing all my flash backs in italics, and if that bothers you, you can read a different story. :D

----

"I guess they would say we could set this world ablaze..."

"The Last Baron", Mastodon

"YOU!" Sirius Black ran into the Gryffindor common room, pointing his finger at Dorcas who happened to be sitting on the sofa next to James.

"Me?" she asked.

"You are going out with Jack Epson?!" he demanded.

"Noooo...who told you that?" Dorcas sat her book on her lap and exchanged a glance with James. Clearly Sirius had lost his mind.

"Some giggling girls in the hallway," he said, relaxing his posture only slightly.

"We have a date later this afternoon when I go into Hogsmeade, but I wouldn't really call that going out," she said lightly, picking her book back up.

"Dating leads to going out!" Sirius was on edge again.

"Yeah? So it does. I guess, like everyone else in the world, I'm hoping to meet someone and fall in love. To do that, typically you have to date people."

"Not Hufflepuffs!"

"Yeah, well, we've been over this Sirius! I can't date James or Remus, or Peter, or you! That limits my Gryffindor options! Hufflepuff is still better than Slytherin, and he doesn't abuse me, or start rumors about me, or light my skirt on fire!"

"That was one time, and it was an accident!" Sirius shouted!

"How do you light someones skirt on fire on accident, Sirius?!" Dorcas was dangerously close to shouting too.

"When said person in a skirt wanders into an area in front of a spell that she was not supposed to be in!"

"THE BATHROOM?!"

"Oookay, party's over," James laughing jumped up. "You crazy kids need a time out. Dorcas, you go change for your date, Sirius, you go change to ruin Dora's date. Okay?"

"You better stay far away Sirius, or I will shave you in your sleep."

Sirius paused for a second, then grinned. "I like the sound of that."

Dorcas and Jack sat awkwardly in Madame Puddifoots. Conversation had been limited, and the atmosphere was too much for Dorcas. She wondered briefly if it was too much for Jack, but didn't ask him. For some reason she was having difficulty speaking to him. They talked about classes and quidditch and people they mutually knew...and then nothing. Dorcas felt like it had been a waste to get so dressed up, which, if she was honest with herself, she had only done to irritate Sirius. She had one an electric blue dress with cap sleeves and a square neck line that showed just a hint of clevage. She had put on a push up bra, though it wasn't doing much for her now. Jack didn't seem the least bit interested. Her hair was pulled halfway back into a large blue clip, the rest waving down, and on her feet she had white wedge sandles on. She knew she looked cute, Jack looked cute in a dark red blazer and khakis, but that was it.

"So..."he said, looking awkwardly into his tea. "Ran into Black on my way out."

Dorcas paused, her tea cup up halfway to her lips. "Oh?"

"Yeah. You guys close?"

"Not really, no," she said.

"Oh."

Dorcas couldn't believe he was asking her about Sirius. She sipped more tea, which was revolting tasting, and then looked out the window to see Sirius looking in at her. She almost choked. If she thought Jack looked good, it was nothing compared to Sirius, who was in a dark blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up, black pants, hair in his face, and his eyes burning. When he saw her looking, he motioned for her to come out to him with his pointer finger. She didn't even hesitate, even though she knew this was blowing her chance with Jack.

"I have to go. I had a nice time, " she said vaguely before getting up and walking out. Sirius and Jack looked at each other, and Sirius smiled. He knew Jack realized the game was up. Sirius had wanted Dorcas since he was thirteen, and this year he was going to take a leaf out of James' book and get her.

"Can I help you?" she asked, trying not to concentrate on his face, which was too good looking for words. She sometimes wondered if he was aware of how good looking he was, and some how, she didn't think he was. He wasn't a player, and he didn't date massive amounts of girls.

"You can. Look." He pointed to the window, where she could see her reflection, and his standing next to her. "Gryffindors, and we look good together."

"Yeah. Well what if my face was a scarred, bloody mess. Then would you think so?" she challenged, looking up at him.

"Of course," he answered

"So, what are you telling me here?" Dorcas asked as she walked away from the window and out onto the street.

"What do you think I'm telling you?" he asked, matching her pace.

"I'm not sure," she said honestly, noticing James and Lily outside of Honeydukes. Lily was smiling, and James was beaming. She looked over at Sirius, who had noticed it too, a small smile playing at his lips.

"You haven't guessed?" he asked, turning back towards her and running a hand through his hair.

"No. I'm slow or whatever."

"I thought you must have guessed years ago. Don't you remember, the first day of third year when you got off the train, and the wind was blowing, and I tripped over all those first years trying to walk over to you?"

"Yeah. You insulted my mother," Dorcas recalled, frowning.

He ignored her response. "It was like, I had been in prison for years and you were the sun I was seeing for the first time in years."

"You insulted my mom."

"I was thirteen," he said impatiently. "What did you want, sonnets?"

"Sirius, are you pulling a joke on me? You haven't really been that nice to me in years," she said, her hands on her hips and eyes narrowed.

"I asked James to bring you with him when I was leaving my house. I just wanted to see you, even though I knew you wouldn't want to see me. That's why Lily and Remus came too, it would have been really obvious what was going on if only you came. Seeing you, standing there in front of my house just brings it all back. Seeing you now, in that dress..just...you're the Lily to my James."

Dorcas just stood there. "Seriously...Sirius....where is this coming from?"

He looked frustrated. "I...you know...like you. A lot. And I don't want you to date anyone from the Pixie Killers, or Alan Long, or Jack Epson, or Professor Slughorn! Just me! Okay? We are Gryffindors, we are good together. You are...too good for Jack Epson. You're probably too good for me, I know I have a lot of mistakes to atone for, and I'll never be anywhere near well behaved, but being around you makes me want to try harder."

Dorcas just stood there, completely floored.

"Sirius..."

He put his hand up, looking pained. "Just, think about it, okay? Will you at least do that?"

She nodded, and began walking towards the castle, totally confused.

Dorcas reached the castle and in the Gryffindor common room, he head swimming. Things were happening really fast, suddenly Sirius Black was confessing feelings, and she wasn't clear on what to do.

"If Lily comes back dating James, I'll give Sirius Black a shot," Dorcas said out loud, laying across a deserted sofa, stretching her legs across it, her feet propped up on the arm, and dozed off.

"Hey, Dora, you're hogging all the space," a voice whispered into her ear. Her eyes fluttered opened to see James beaming at her, one hand on her legs as he attempted to move them.

"Sorry," she slurred, sitting up sleepily. letting James sit next to her. She put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"How was your date with Epson?" he asked her, playing with a strand of hair that was dangling across his chest.

"Sirius interrupted. But boring," she said, her eyes still closed.

"Well, I asked Lily to be my girlfriend. Again," he said, still twisting the hair around.

Dorcas' eyes flew open. "What did she say?"

He looked at her and grinned. "She said yes."

Dorcas squealed and threw her arms around James' neck, hugging him tightly. "I'm so happy for you James! I told you she would, if you were yourself!"

"I know, you were right. So...I saw you and Sirius talking...he say anything interesting?" James inquired. Dorcas stood up.

"Do you know where he is?"

James smiled. "The lake."

She smiled back, and then turned and practically ran to the lake, to the exact spot she knew he would be, where he had rescued her last year from death, and dragged her to shore.

He stood with his back to her, looking out at the water. She stopped to slip her shoes off and walked behind him.

"The only thing I still believe in is you," he laughed softly. "If you only knew..."

"Do you ever think about what would have happened if I drowned that night?" she stood next to him, looking out into the glassy water, thinking back on that night...

--

_"James, this is ridiculous! I don't think fish even live in the lake!" Dorcas laughed as James continued to peer into its dark depths.  
_

_"They don't have to, I just need things I can charm into fish!" he retorted._

_"Well, midnight is not the best time to be looking for anything in the lake," Dorcas commented, looking over with him. "Its too dark to see anything."_

_"It has to be ready by eight tomorrow though! That's when Lily will be walking out to the green houses, and will see it!"_

_"Whatever you say," Dorcas smiled. _

_James shot a spell into the water, and a brightly colored fish lept out of the water. Dorcas laughed in delight as it flipped over the boat and went back into the water._

_"One down, ninty nine to go," James said, looking intently back into the water. He shot the spell succesively four more times, causing twelve more fish to leap in and out of the water._

_"OI!" yelled a voice from the shore._

_"PADFOOT!" James yelled. "LOOK AT MY LILY FISH!"_

_Dorcas turned her back on Sirius at the shore, looking back into the water. She kneeled down, her face so close to the water, her hair was halfway into it, and her nose was almost touching it._

_"Sirius is coming out to help," James said.  
_

_"Awesome. Hey, look, I think I see another something you can make tropical and fishy," Dorcas said, pointing to something moving upwards._

_"Yeah, looks good."_

_"Ahoy!" Sirius nudged his boat gently against the one Dorcas and James were sharing._

_"Careful," James hissed, looking intently at something moving very quickly towards the surface._

_"Better hope thats not a mermaid," Sirius joked._

_"Wait a second," James pulled his face away from the water in horror. "Dorcas, move your---!"_

_Something green reached out and yanked at Dorcas' hair, pulling her overboard with violence. She didn't have time to scream or catch her breath. She gulped down a large mouthful of lake water and began fighting the grindyglow with was clutching her hair. Another one grabbed her arm, and she could feel more pulling her further down, but she couldn't see them. Her lungs were burning, and her brain was feeling fuzzy with the lack of oxygen and crushing pressure of the water. Fighting them without a wand was impossible, thought she was giving it her best shot._

_A bright light shot through the water, and all hands gripping her immediately let go. Dorcas twisted in the water, her hair splaying out in the water as Sirius Black, wand in hand, swam furiously towards her. Feeling close to black, she pushed hard against the water, just wanting to reach his hand, his face he only thing taking up space in her mind. Her hand touched him, and he wrapped one arm around her waist, and she could feel herself moving up to the surface._

_The water broke, and air filled in her mouth, and he never realized how much she loved it as she gulped it down._

_"She okay?!" she heard a voice, though it sounded far away. Dorcas felt like she was in a dream, and right on cue, a tropical fish jumped over her head. She started laughing._

_"I think so," Sirius said as he swam them over to the shore. When he could touch, he carried her in his arms, and she didn't protest, still breathing and laughing. He set her down on cool grass, and his face, dripping wet, peered over hers._

_"Are you alright?"_

_She couldn't answer, she was still laughing, and she knew her laughs were about to turn into tears. _

_"Don't cry," he said, looking at the tears._

_"I can't help it," she choked out, her weird laugh crying mixture oozing down her face._

_"C'mon...lets get inside," he said, lifiting her up, and between him and James, the three made it back alive..._

_---_

"Occasionally," Sirius said quietly, and she knew he was thinking about it too. "I'm sure James would have dived in to get you if I hadn't first."

"I still dream about it," she confessed softly. "In the dreams, it feels almost like a prelude, like I will feel that way in my life more than just that one moment."

Sirius turned to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"I dunno. It's just the tone of the dreams. Like, being that close to death is going to be a common theme for me," she looked up into his eyes.

"Then I guess I shouldn't leave you alone too long, should I?"

"All I could see was you. In that water, your face was all I could see."

He closed the distance between them. "I know I haven't been anything close to a good friend to you. But I want to try. I want to make things right."

She closed her eyes. "I want to give it a shot. The idea of being with you...I mean...it's crossed my mind..."

He smiled down at her. "We could show the whole world how it is done."

Dorcas laughed. "Well, I don't think it will be easy."

"Nothing in this life that is worth having is easy. Look at my friendship with James. My whole family disowned me."

She nodded. "And they're saying there is a war on the horizon."

He closed his eyes. "I don't want to think about that right now."

She nodded, pressing her forehead against his.

He kissed her, lightly and soflty. She smiled, lacing her hands through his.

"This means you can't light my skirt on fire."

"Well, you have to break up with George Farthington," Sirius retorted as the two walked back up to the castle.

"Deal."


	6. Halloween

"Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."

---Oliver Wendell Holmes

Dorcas woke up late in the afternoon on Sunday, the dormitory completely deserted. She didn't mind as she swung her legs out of bed and stumbled sleepily into the shower.

An hour later she felt ready to wander down and get some breakfast. For whatever reason she had felt the need to get completely dressed up, which included straightening out her wavy blond hair. If she was honest with herself, she knew it was because of Sirius, and she was nervous after last nights events, which didn't feel real to her anymore. She had attempted to appear casual with her outfit, she had ended up in really nice jeans and a pretty yellow shirt with white flats on, but the outfit had taken twenty minutes to put together.

She found the common room deserted, which meant everyone was probably down in the Great Hall having lunch.

"Hey, Meadowes!" Avery had spotted her in the hall.

"Avery?" she said, irritated that he had stopped her so close to the entrance.

"You look nice," he said honestly. She sometimes couldn't believe he was aiming to be a death eater. "Is it for me?" And other times she could.

"No. I have to go," she stepped around him, only to find him blocking her way again.

"Can't be for Epson, rumor has it that he's seeing Millie Hatcher. So who's it for, if not for me?" he asked again.

"Professor Slughorn," she said randomly, thinking of Sirius' list of people he didn't want her to date. "So, if you''ll excuse me..."

"Hey Dora..." Sirius' voice trailed off as he saw the look of agitation on her face and Avery standing so closely in front of her. "Problem, Avery?"

"Not at all, Black," he sneered, walking around them. "See you around Meadowes..."

The second he was gone Dorcas punched Sirius as hard as she could in the shoulder.

"OW! What was that for?!"

"For starting that stupid rumor I liked Avery! He won't leave me alone, even now!" she said furiously, walking into the Great Hall.

"It's your fault for being so good looking," he replied, throwing his arm around her waist and dragging her as close as he possibly could to him. Dorcas thought she heard a momentary pause in the chatter, but convinced herself she must have been imagining it, although she did see several girls right off the bat staring and whispering in their direction.

"Were you sleeping?" James asked in between huge bites of sandwich.

"Yeah, I guess I was just really tired," Dorcas answered as she began making her own sandwich.

James and Sirius exchanged glances, but Dorcas was spared whatever humiliating fate they had in store for her by Lily, who said, "Hey, Dora, come to the library with me?"

Dora smiled gratefully and left without even shooting Sirius a second glance. She liked him, a lot, but she was feeling awkward around him. For seven years she had been completely aware of the dynamic they shared, and now suddenly everything was different, and she wasn't sure how to react around him. Should she start sitting next to him at meals? Hold his hand in the halls? Tell him her secrets?

"Helloooo...Dora?" Lily said laughingly, waking Dorcas out her thoughts.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm here. Just thinking. What's up?"

"I was telling you about the Halloween dance we're planning. Do you want to help?"

"Like the one they did last year?" Dorcas asked, surprised. The seventh year graduating class last year had thrown several dances as a way of saying good bye. Dorcas had gone to all three, the Halloween, Christmas, and Easter with three different people, and now that she looked back on it, every dance had ended with a dance with Sirius, and him walking her back.

"Did you know Sirius liked me?" she blurted out.

"Did you know James liked me?" she counted, laughing softly as they entered the Gryffindor common room.

"So that is a yes?" she asked again.

"Yeah. Since forever is my guess. You're thinking about the Christmas dance last year, right? James told me, at the time, that he bought dress robes specifically to match your dress."

"How did I never notice?" Dorcas mused, sitting down on a sofa.

"I don't know. What I don't get, either, is how you two both land the two best looking guys in our year," Mary jumped over the back of the sofa to sandwich Dorcas between her and Lily.

"Maybe they've landed the two best looking girls in the year," Lily laughed, setting a large folder down on the table in front of them.

"Ouch. That hurts," Mary laughed, clutching her heart in mock pain.

"So, a Halloween dance," Lily said, flipping open the folder. "Last year they had everyone dress up. This year I think we should do a masquerade ball. Open only to fourth through seventh, like they did last year, and we should hold it in the Great Hall."

"That sounds fine to me," Dorcas smiled, thinking of a good outfit.

"Yeah, I like it too. Dressing up last year was fun too," Mary reminisced.

"Yeah it was," Lily smiled, and the three all gazed into space for a moment.

"Anyway," Dorcas smiled, shaking her head.

"Right. I was thinking we could decorate the hall like the balls of old, like they used to do in the old days."

"Oooh, sounds fun!" Mary squealed.

"Sounds complicated to set up," Docas frowned, looking through the pictures Lily had.

"Not when I have you and Mary to help me!" she smiled, throwing her arms around both of their shoulders.

The month passed quickly for Dorcas, who was avoiding Sirius and James, using Lily as her excuse. She immersed herself in plans for the dance, and along with her NEWT work she barely had time to try and figure out what she was supposed to be doing about Sirius Black, and as far as she could tell Sirius didn't seem too worried about it. He still teased her, and still spent most of his time with his friends.

"Excited? Nervous? Scared?" Lily bounced up behind Dorcas, who was staring off into space as she walked out of her Charms class.

"For what?" Dorcas asked.

"You have been acting so weird lately. What is going on?"

"It's Sirius," Dorcas said.

"Yeah, I kind of thought. Generally when you date someone, you're supposed to like them," Lily said knowingly as they made their way towards the Great Hall.

"I do like him. I like him a lot. I just don't know what to do with him...you know?"

"What did you do with other guys you've dated?" Lily inquired.

"I dunno...they never really lasted long, Sirius always chased them off."

"Well, are you going to the dance with him tonight?"

"He didn't ask me, but probably. Invariably, I've ended up at every dance and every outing with Sirius."

"Okay. Well James mentioned Sirius is worried you are going to break up with him. And that he's wearing gold..." Lily winked as they sat in their usual spot at the table. Mary was already there, chattering at a mile a minute to Remus, who was smiling good naturedly. James and Sirius were there, too. James smiled as Lily sat down, but Sirius kept his head down, looking moody as he picked at his potato.

"This looks fantastic, doesn't it?" Mary smiled, looking at the decorations in place.

"Yeah, you guys did a really good job," Remus smiled, looking around.

"Yeah," Sirius dropped his fork down on the table and crossed his arms across his chest. "Super awesome."

"Sirius," James put a hand on his shoulder.

"So...Sirius," Dorcas smiled at him. "Should I meet you in the common room...or out her...?"

Sirius scowled down at the table for a second. "I didn't know you were still going with me."

"Well...I thought we were...if you don't want to...that's fine..." Dorcas' voice stuttered for a second.

Sirius' eyes were dark for a moment. "No. We are, I just didn't think you wanted to anymore....I'll wait for you in the common room."

Dorcas smiled. "Okay."

"Alright...so...that's not awkward at all..." Mary laughed, causing Dorcas to blush and Sirius to return to scowling.

"And neither was that," Dorcas responded, punching Mary lightly on the arm.

"Alright, alright! No violence! Eat dinner so we can get this show on the road!" Lily laughed as Peter sat down, looking sullen.

"Whats wrong Pete?" James asked, dragging his eyes off of Lily.

"Rachel said no," he said, picking apart some bread.

"Did you just ask her?" Lily asked sympathetically.

"Yeah. She said she was going with Long," Peter replied sullenly.

"Didn't you date Allan Long?" Remus asked Dorcas conversationally.

"For barely a month. Casanova here caused him to break up with me," Dorcas indicated Sirius by jabbing the air with her fork, grinning.

"Hey. Hey, it's not my fault he found out you were a cheating vixen!"

"I never dated George Farthington Sirius!" she laughed, spearing broccoli onto her fork with a bit of force.

"Sure you didn't, "he winked at her.

"Ooookay! Well we're going now. James, meet me downstairs with Sirius at nine o clock, okay?" Lily ordered.

"Hey, Pete, I know I'm no Rachel, but I'll go to the dance with you," Mary said. Dorcas and Lily looked at her, surprised. Mary fingered a brown curl behind her ear, her face joking, but the girls could tell she was nervous. Peter looked at her, surprised for a moment before he responded, "Sure."

"Awesome," she smiled, getting up with Dorcas and Lily.

"What was that?" Dorcas asked as the three headed to the portrait hole.

"Look, Pete is no James or Sirius, true, but no one I like asked me, and you have to admit, he's not as terrible as he used to be. I don't want to be the only Gryffindor going alone," she admitted.

"Who is Shannon going with?" Dorcas asked. Shannon was another blond in their dormitory. Dorcas liked her, she was pretty and smart, but generally kept to herself, choosing to spend her time with her twin brother in Ravenclaw and his friends.

"Um...what's his face...Chris Morgan. He's friends with her brother Samuel I think," Lily answered, her face frowning.

"He's nice," Mary quipped as they walked up the stairs to the dorm.

"Speak of the devil," Dorcas said as Shannon stood there in a long blue dress.

"Do I look okay?" she asked frustratedly.

"Yeah! You look great!" The three immediately began to assure her.

"Good. I've been standing up here for thirty minutes trying to decide if I look alright or if my hair looks stupid..."

"Shannon, you look great. Stop worrying so much," Dorcas pulled out her own dress, which was long and gold, with a matching mask.

"What are you doing with your hair Dora?" Mary asked, slipping into a poofy pink number.

"I'm leaving it down. Curly. I know a really good spell for it, so it takes no time at all," she answered, eyeing Lily's typical green dress.

"I was thinking of pulling mine half up, it's hard get the mask to stay on with it down. Mine is too thick for it," Lily complained, looking at her hair in a mirror.

Shannon was busy pulling all of hers up, letting small wisps of straight hair frame her face. "I think it's pretty obvious what I'm doing with mine."

An hour later, the four were ready and sitting on their beds talking. Dorcas kept fingering her mask lightly. staring down at her feet.

"We got ready way to early," Shannon commented. She was sitting on Lily's bed, flipping through a book.

"Yeah, a little over excited," Mary was retying her mask around an elaborate updo she had spent the better part of an hour creating.

"Pete isn't going to know what hit him," Dorcas laughed, putting her glittery gold mask on her own face. It only covered her eyes, which were done in smokey eye shadow.

"I still can't believe you asked him," Shannon closed the book to look over at Mary.

"Well...he's sweet and harmless. I'm tired of dating jerks. And, before you say anything, not only Slytherins are jerks."

"I'll agree with the harmless part, but he's so clingy...he practically worships James and Sirius as Gods," Dorcas said in contempt.

"That's not fair Dora. He's just awkward, and it's hard to stand out with friends like James and Sirius, the hog all the spotlight," Lily replied fairly.

"Maybe. I don't understand how he became a Gryffindor sometimes."

"He'll prove himself. Don't be too critical of him."

"I should probably be going, I told Chris I would meet him fifteen minutes ago," Shannon got up off of Lilys bed.

"See you down there," Mary called cheerfully.

"Are we late?" Dorcas asked.

"Probably. It's good to make them wait," Lily said dismissively.

Dorcas swung off her bed, frustrated. "Yeah, but Sirius already is upset with me for being a bad girlfriend this last month. I don't want to agitate him more by making him wait on me for half an hour longer than I said."

"Blah blah, Dora, you've never been so lame over a guy before," Mary turned around, heading out behind her.

"It's because she's secretly been in love with Sirius since she got here, and all those other guys were just around to make him mad," Lily said.

"You're one to talk," Dorcas stopped on the stairs to shoot Lily a Look.

"Wow..." Dorcas, Mary, and Lily looked down to see James staring up at them.

"We'll continue this later," Dorcas whispered as James walked up to Lily.

"You look stunning," he said, taking Lily's hand and leading her down the stairs.

"He's so romantic," Mary sighed while Dorcas rolled her eyes.

They reached the bottom. Sirius was standing down there, his eyes locked on her face, and Dorcas forgot her irritation with Lily. His robes were dark black, with a gold shirt underneath. He wore a gold mask as well, covering his eyes and going over his nose. His dark eyes popped from behind it, and for some reason he seemed incredibly tall.

"You're late," he murmured softly, pulling her close to him.

"I'm sorry. And not just about being late. About the whole week," she whispered back, lacing her fingers through his as they made their way out of the portrait.

"It's fine. If it makes your nervous, or you need space, you can have it. I don't mind."

Dorcas fell silent, looking at James and Lily ahead of them. Lily was laughing, and James looked so happy. She looked over at Sirius, he had an identical look on his face.

"Are you happy?" she asked as they reached the Great Hall. Sirius stopped her, letting Mary and Peter go ahead of them.

"I've wanted this for a long time. I'm incredibly happy. And you look beautiful, by the way."

Dorcas ducked her head down, embarassed by all the affection. "You don't look too bad yourself."

Sirius grinned and led her into the dance, whch Dorcas had seen about one hundred times at that point.

"Oooh, Pixie Killers playing?" Sirius asked.

Dorcas grinned as he pulled her into a dance. "Oh, yeah. You know, just called in a favor."

He stared at her for a second. "You're kidding, right?"

She just smiled.

"Hey, I'm gonna get some punch," Dorcas panted. Sirius and her had been dancing non stop for the past hour, rivaling Lily and James, and she was parched.

"Sure. I'll be here," he smiled, walking over to James, cutting into his dance with Lily. Dorcas laughed as she made her way over to the refreshment table.

"So...Black, huh?"

Dorcas looked up to see Jack Epson standing there looking at her oddly.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess so," she responded, feeling a bit awkward.

"I can't say I didn't see it coming," he said, looking at his feet.

"Look, Jack, I'm sorry if I upset you..." she responded, looking at his feet as well.

"You mean, letting me take you on a date and then ditching me to see Black? No, it's fine," he said bitterly.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad Dora. Black will do plenty of that for me," Jack walked away as Sirius walked up to her.

"He giving you any trouble?" he asked her, looking after Jack, who was walking towards Maggie, his back to them both.

"What? No. He was fine," she lied, looking up into his face. Sirius had taken off his mask, and his face was flushed and handsome.

"You're a bad liar Dora, but I'll pretend to believe you. C'mon, I really like this song," he grabbed her hand, dragging her back onto the dance floor.

"Sirius!" she said, laughing. "The song is over!"

"I'd like to dedicate this next one to the lovely Dorcas Meadowes!" George Farthington winked out into the crowd. "This ones for you."

Lily and Mary burst out laughing at the look on Sirius' face as he stared at Dorcas. "I thought that was a joke!"

She was laughing so hard she was doubled over. Sirius grabbed her hands and pulled her up, his face inches from hers.

"My mom knows him, and called in a favor," she choked out, still laughing.

"So you didn't date him?" Sirius still looked stunned. "Because I totally made that rumor up!"

She leaned up and kissed him. "It's not so nice to have the jokes played on you, is it?" she whispered. His eyes were closed.

"I rather like it," he responded, kissing her back as they moved slowly to the music.

"I think that went really well," Dorcas said at the end of the night. Sirius' shirt was coming untucked, and he had one arm thrown haphazardly around Dorcas' shoulder.

"Yeah, it was a lot more fun than last years dance," he replied through a huge yawn.

"Last Halloween at Hogwarts," she commented as they made their way into the Gryffindor common room.

"I know, it's weird. I wonder what we'll be doing this time next year," he mused.

"Probably the same thing, just somewhere different," she said as they reached the stairs.

"Think Lily's up there?" he asked, eyeing the stairs.

"No way. James has probably got her somewhere alone and very romantic. On the lake is my guess."

"I say somewhere in Hogsmeade," Sirius replied thoughtfully.

"I'll probably be the first up there. I'm sure Shannon is still out, and Mary is always the last one back."

"I can't imagine Pete staying out late. Come up with me," he added impulsively.

"I dunno Sirius..." she looked at him warily.

"Nothing will happen. Despite the rumors, I assure you I am nothing but a gentleman."

"Are you saying all the rumors are false?"

"Completely made up." He looked at her solemnly.

"Then what do you have in mind?"

"It would be nice to fall asleep next to you, don't you think?"

Her resolve was faltering. "No hanky panky. Let me change, okay? I'll meet you there in five minutes."

"Awesome," he smiled.

Dorcas changed quickly out of her dress, throwing it onto her bed in a bundle. She'd worry about it later as she unpinned her mask, and threw it and her shoes ontop of the dress. She didn't bother taking off her make up, instead just pulling on a black t-shirt with the Pixie Killers logo on it and a short pair of blue shorts with owls on them.

She walked quickly up the flight of steps to the boys dorm and knocked once. Sirius greeted her in a plain white t shirt and red flannel pajama pants. "That's what you sleep in?" he asked.

"Yep," she said, looking around. The room was empty and messy. Various quidditch posters littered the walls and clothes and books littered the floors.

"This is mine," Sirius smiled, pulling the blankets back as she climbed in.

"I'm the first girl in the bed?" she asked as she cuddled into his chest, resting her head on the hollow in his shoulder.

"First girl ever," he smiled, wrapping his arms around her. She smiled back, and that's how the two fell asleep...


	7. Weddings and Candy

"Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold. "

-Judith Olney

"PARENTING!" Mr Buggles shouted as soon as the bell rung, shaking Dorcas out of her stupor. She couldn't figure out why she was taking this muggle studies class. It seemed most of her graduating class was, as well as numerous others from other houses, with the exception of Slytherins. She glanced over at Shannon, who was sitting next to her, doodling on a spare bit of parchment. She seemed immune to Mr. Buggles' shouting.

"Muggles and Wizards both do it, but muggles do it differently. For the next three weeks I will pair you up with a class mate. During this time you will put together a book depicting your marriage, married life, and at the end of the project, your ability to be good parents to a child. I will be pairing you off," he added again, giving James a look, who was grinning broadly. "There will be no changing partners. there will be no divorces and marriages to other people. Think of it as an arranged marriage. It's a three week project, and worth a substantial bit of your grade. It's not complicated people," he added, sounding tired. Dorcas smiled to herself, imagining the problems other students who had long since passed must have given him.

"There are an odd number of boys to girls in this class," he added as he unfurled a piece of parchment. "So two males will be paired together. I am hoping the two paired together will show maturity and understanding to the subject. Now them. Bennington and Lupin, you will be paired together-"

"Wait," Samuel Bennington looked up at the teacher confused. "Are you talking about me or Shannon?"

"Shannon," Mr. Buggles said, and Dorcas stood up to allow Remus to sit next to Shannon.

"Evans and Epson," he continued.

"WHAT?!" James voiced loudly, but the teacher ignored him.

"Jackson and Pettigrew."

Mary smiled and looked over at Peter, who joined her at her table. James huffed loudly again.

"Meadowes and Harrison."

Spencer Harrison, a good looking Ravenclaw beater, flashed Dorcas a smile as she walked over to his table and set her things down.

"Marry me?" he joked.

"I thought you'd never ask," she smiled playfully, ignoring Sirius who was giving Spencer a look of death.

"Potter and....Black..."Mr. Buggles looked slightly frightened to say the pairing out loud. The whole room fell silent before James and Sirius began roaring with laughter.

"I thought he said he wanted maturity?!" Lily exclaimed. "He picked the wrong people for that!"

"Settle down, settle down!" Mr. Buggles yelled. "I picked Mr. Black and Mr. Potter because of the friendship they exhibit. I thought they would be best suited for each other!"

Sirius was down on one knee looking very serious. "James...I have loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on your beautiful face. Say you'll marry me."

James, who had one hand in Sirius's, placed his other over his mouth and pretended to wipe away a tear. "I love you."

They then began to furiously embrace, causing the rest of the class to errupt yet again in laughter.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Mr. Buggles screamed. Everyone looked at him curiously, but stopped laughing.

"Now then...where was I..."

"He must be out of his mind," Spencer said as Dorcas and him began looking through wedding catalogs.

"It'll work out. Oooh, what about this?" she pointed at a poofy wedding dress. Spencer wrinkled his nose. "You're wearing it, not me."

"Well yeah," she laughed, turning the page.

"I was thinking we could get together tomorrow night in the library and start putting most of this together. The wedding part will be easy, just cut and paste, add all our expenses, and what not."

"That's sounds fine," Dorcas smiled as the bell rang.

"Around seven?"

"I'll be there."

"You know, in real life that would never happen." A voice behind her made her leap twenty feet out of her seat.

"What would never happen? You and James getting married, because I don't think he's too off target there," she smiled at Sirius as they began walking down to the Great Hall.

"No, you and Harrison," he said, smiled still plastered all over his face.

"Don't make this difficult Sirius. He didn't ask me out, we were put together for this project. You know that if we could have chosen I would have picked you."

Sirius seemed to think about this for a minute. "Well, I think I would still have chosen James. James is going to wear a wedding dress."

Dorcas laughed. "See. Concentrate on having the perfect marriage with James, and I'll work on mine with Spence, and before you know it, we'll be done and learning something new about those wacky muggles."

"Spence?" Sirius asked.

"Spencer. Whatever. Spence is less syllables."

"Barely."

"What do you know about Jack Epson?" James cut in between Sirius and Dorcas, looking slightly manic.

"Um...he's nice..." she saw Sirius's face darken. "I mean...he's terrible and cuts people up into tiny pieces with a switch blade."

"A what?'

"Never mind."

"Should I be worried?"

"Honestly James, I think Lily should be worried. You two make a cute couple," Dorcas said exasperated and walked away, leaving the two chuckling behind her.

"I hate this project," Shannon complained two nights later.

"It's not so bad," Dorcas smiled, having already completed her wedding album the night before.

"Dorcas is done," muttered Mary, who was gluing pictures into her book.

"Really? Let me see your book," Shannon asked, pushing away the magazines she was flipping through.

"Sure," Dorcas pulled the book out of her bag, which was bound in a white cover.

"Awww...cute!"

"It was Spencer's idea, not mine," she said, embarrassed.

"Did you use magic to do this?" Lily asked, looking at the front picture, which depicted Dorcas and Spencer hugging on the front.

"No, we actually took it. It's cute, isn't it? I'm going to frame it when the project's done with," she smiled, looking down on it.

"You actually had someone take your pictures?" Mary asked, flipping through it.

"Yeah, Jerry Hallaway will if you ask. He's in Spencer's house, so it was no big deal, we have the same free period, so we went down to the grounds and took some pictures, changed clothes a couple times to make them look authentic. It was a lot of fun, Spence is really funny."

"I'm sorry, did you just say Spence again?" Sirius called from across the noisy and crowded common room.

"It's creepy how he can hear that," Mary whispered, and the four broke out into nervous giggles. Sirius scowled but went back to his gobstone game with James.

"He hears it every time. I said it the other day in class, and I swear I thought he would burst in," Dorcas whispered again, trying to fight back the giggles.

"He's not as bad as James. He hexed Jack the other day for asking if I wanted to honeymoon in South America," Lily whispered back.

"That's because South America is tacky and over priced!" James called over.

"They're using magic," Dorcas concluded. "No way that James heard that."

"I think they just are naturally attuned to listening to you two. You should be grateful, I wish Chris listened half as well as James or Sirius," Shannon said, looking at the dress Dorcas had picked out.

"Yeah. Well, sometimes I wish they would give me some room to breathe," Dorcas muttered, looking at Spencer in a tux. "We just taped our heads over the outfits, by the way."

"It looks really realistic."

"Well, I used magic to be honest," Dorcas admitted.

"Good. I'm done with stupid glue sticks, they're messy and sticky and get everywhere," Shannon announced, capping her glue and tossing it into her bag.

"How is Remus?" Mary asked, magicking a picture of her and Peter into her book.

"Good. He seems bored by it all," she said gloomily.

"So does Jack," Lily commented, filling out her sheet of prices. "Plus he wants to have a traditional Catholic wedding, but he has no idea what Catholic is, and neither do I. I wasn't raised around religion."

"Why are you taking a muggle studies class to begin with?" Shannon asked. "You were born a muggle."

"Ancient Runes was full," she said. "So I figured, easy NEWT."

"Yeah, my dad is a muggle. I know most of this stuff. I'm really worried about this baby thing. Are they giving us a real baby?" Dorcas asked as she stuffed her album back into her bag.

"What idiot in their right mind would give James and Sirius a baby?" Lily asked.

"That is a really good point," Mary laughed.

The next morning was a Saturday, and a Hogsmead visit, which put Dorcas in an exceptionally good mood. She threw on jeans and a dark black t-shirt that said "ELVENDORK" in neon pink letters on it, a pair of white tennis shoes, and wandered down into the common room.

"Morning good looking," Sirius greeted her, sitting in a chair. He had a book propped up in his lap and it appeared as if he was reading.

"Are you reading?" she asked incredulously, sitting down on the arm.

"No, I was sleeping. I actually have no idea how this got here," he said, closing the book in his hands.

"I was going to say, since when do you read," she laughed.

"Going into Hogsmead today?" he asked cheerfully, pulling her into his lap.

"I was planning on it. I need a quill, plus I am dying for some sugar, you don't even know."

He smiled, planting his lips on hers. "There you go, sugar."

"You're so lame," she laughed, kissing him back. The kissing deepened, and before she knew it his hands were wrapped around her waist and her hands were running through his hair. This was nice, it was the first time she had really spent kissing him, and he was excellent at it. She knew at least half of the rumors about him had to be true.

"Excuse me, but you're kissing my husband," James commented from behind Dorcas, effectively ruining the moment.

"Nice James. Real cute," Dorcas replied, climbing off of Sirius and flopping down on a sofa.

"Hey! You're wearing our shirt! I'm going to go put mine on!" James jumped over the back of the sofa and up the stair, presumably to change shirts.

"You and James have a shirt?" Sirius asked, looking incredibly handsome from the chair she just left him in.

"Yeah. He's obsessed with the name Elvendork. It's unisex you know," Dorcas told him as Sirius moved next to her on the sofa. He was dangerously close again.

"Oh yeah? Unisex you say?" he said, his breath in her face.

"Mmhmm," she closed her eyes as they began kissing again.

"Seriously?! You two need a room!" James yelled from the stairs.

"Just wait, James," Dorcas threatened, looking at him in a matching black t-shirt with bright blue "ELVENDORK!" written across it.

"Best. . EVER!" he said, sitting next to her.

"What's the joke?" Sirius asked, looking amused.

"Well, Dora was trying to come up with a name for her owl-"

"We're sitting in his parents kitchen mulling over names-" Dorcas cut in.

"When I suggested Elvendork-" James smiled, remembering the memory.

"His dad walks past and says, 'it's unisex, you know'-"

"And we laughed for a good forty eight hours straight."

"So, it was kind of a joke, all summer. Any time anyone said anything, James would say, "Elvendork! It's unisex, you know."

"And we would start laughing all over again."

"So, for James's birthday, I decided to make t-shirts."

"And wherever we go, people always ask about the name."

"And we say, "it's unisex, you know!"

The two were busting up laughing the whole time. Sirius chuckled, but didn't seem to find it as funny. "Guess you had to be there."

"Just wait, mate. Someday we'll get to use it together and it will be just as funny," James was still laughing incredibly hard.

"I am so hungry I could eat...Oh. Hello James..." Lily and Shannon had just walked down from the girls common room, and for some reason the sight of James made them look incredibly guilty.

"Hello ladies," he smiled, running his hands through his hair. "May I escort you to breakfast?"

"No, that's okay. I'll meet you in Hogsmead, okay?" Lily said as Shannon eyed his shirt oddly.

"What's Elvendork?" she asked as Sirius yelled, "NO DONT!"

Dorcas and James burst out laughing. "It's unisex, you know!"

Breakfast was uneventful, and the trip down to Hogsmead was too. Dorcas walked down with Shannon and Mary, allowing James and Sirius to plan fun and immature pranks with Peter and Remus.

"Have you ever thought of dating Remus?" Mary asked Shannon.

"He's already seeing someone," she frowned, looking ahead at the brown haired boy.

"Yeah, but Sirius goes on and on about how Gryffindors should date Gryffindors," Dorcas informed her as she put her hands into her jean pockets.

"Sirius just said that to lure you into dating him. I doubt he cares who Remus, Peter, or James date," Mary said shrewdly.

"Besides, I'm seeing Chris, remember?" Shannon reminded them.

"Hey, I just thought if would be fun if we were all paired together," Mary smiled as they reached the village.

"It would be kind of cliche," Shannon contradicted. "I'm off to Madame Puddifoots! See you guys later," she waved as she bounded off for the tiny shop.

"I wish Peter would take me into Madame Puddifoots," Mary sighed as they walked into Scrivenshafts.

"I hope Sirius never does," Dorcas said as she absentmindedly picked up a quill.

"You two are pretty much perfect."

"I know, right?" she agreed, looking at one with a large green feather.

"Would you say he's your dream guy?"

"Of course she would. Wouldn't you?" The two looked up to see Sirius standing there, running his hands through his hair and grinning.

"You are so arrogant Sirius," Dorcas said, walking off with him as Mary wandered over to where Peter was.

"Yeah, I know. Many people have said it...teachers...friends...Snivillus....my mom...personally, I think they're all just jealous of my good looks."

"You think McGonagall and your mom are jealous of your good looks?" Dorcas asked incredulously.

"Especially professor McGonagall," he said breezily as they walked out into the cool autumn weather.

"You're ridiculous."

"And you are a lucky, lucky lady. All the ladies in the school are jealous of you."

This statement caused Dorcas to stop dead in her tracks and put her hands on her hips. "Sirius. No one cares who you or I date. Maybe people notice for, what, ten seconds, and then they go about their lives. If I were that important to anyone that they were jealous of me for more than oh point one second, they need to seriously reexamine themselves closely-"

"Okay. Sheesh, it was just a joke, calm down crazy."

Dorcas narrowed her eyes. "Sirius Orion Black-"

"Hey, Dorcas!" They both spun around to see Spencer jogging towards her, a small envelope in his hands.

"Hey Sirius," he greeted cheerfully.

Sirius's eyes were narrowed into slits. "Harrison..."

"I have the pictures we took. Some are ones already in our album, I just thought you'd like a copy, and then the others are the ones with the aging potion we took. They look really realistic, we look like we could have been married for years. I made copies of some, so you could keep them, I know you mentioned you wanted to frame some."

Dorcas took the envelope from him. "Aw, thanks Spence. That was really nice. I'll start putting them in the other book, and we'll already be a fourth of the way done."

"Yeah, this project is turning out to be a lot of fun, don't you think?" he asked, his eyes alight with excitement.

"Yeah, it's not too bad."

"Loads," Sirius quipped, still looking irritated. Spencer seemed to catch Sirius's mood.

"Well, I'll see you later Dorcas. Bye Sirius."

"BYE SPENCE!" Sirius yelled when Spencer was a good twenty feet away.

"You're messed up, you know that?" she rounded on him.

"What?" Sirius was trying to look innocent and failing.

"You don't have to be a jerk. Just because he's not James doesn't mean you have to be rude."

"You're right. Would you like for me to start calling you Mrs. Harrison?"

"It's just a project, Sirius," she said, exasperated.

"Oh yeah? Then what's with the pictures?" he pulled the envelope out of her hand and started going through them. Most of them were silly, them in angora sweaters looking like they were forty five, but some were from the first session they had done, where they were young and just messing around. Sirius stopped at a really pretty one of Dorcas alone in the shot, sitting on a bench and smiling out into the distance. There were two of them, and he was suddenly glad for Spencer and his odd interest in this project.

"Can I have this one?" he asked, fingering it lightly.

"Sure, if it gets you off my back."

"How come none of them move?" he asked, wishing she would smile up at him in the picture, or wave.

"Because muggle pictures don't move," she said, taking the pictures back and putting them in the envelope.

"Oh. Well...this is really pretty. And I don't have a legitimate picture of you," he mumbled as they walked towards Honeydukes.

"Do you have one at all?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's got James in it though. I stole it from him, I think his mom took it."

"Does he know?" she frowned as they entered the shop, and for a moment she forgot she was with Sirius. Honeydukes was on her top ten list of favorite places in the world. Dorcas was addicted to candy in an unhealthy way, and was pretty positive that in ten years she would be massive because of it. Somehow the idea of this cheered her, and she began walking towards the chocolate.

"Yeah. I have it hanging it up next to my bed."

This caused her to pause next to some every flavor beans. "How come I didn't see it when I slept there Halloween?"

"I took it down. I didn't want you to think I was a creepo like James."

She burst out laughing as she grabbed a bar of chocolate and put it under her arm.

"Buying candy today?" he asked, amused. Everyone in Gryffindor tower was well aware of Dorcas' obsession.

"As much as I can carry," she grinned.

Dorcas wasn't kidding. She bought just about one of everything. Sirius watched, amused at first, but towards the end he was rather alarmed at the amount of sugar his girlfriend, who seemed small to him, was preparing to consume. He did, however, pay for it all, refusing her attempts to pay for it herself, saying he would be a lousy boyfriend if he let her waste her money in his presence.

"Thanks for the candy," she smiled as he carried her bags into the common room.

"Of course. I have to spend my parents money as unwisely as I possibly can," he smiled, dropping it all on the table.

"Candy seems like a good start, she smiled.

He sat down on the couch and pulled her right down next to her. "Now..James is out with Lily, and probably won't be back for hours. This place is deserted. What should we-"

She cut him off, smiling when his lips met hers.


	8. Immaturity

"You're the only one I ever believed in/The answer that could never be found/The moment you decided to let love in."

-"Let Love In", The Goo Goo Dolls

"CAREERS!" Mr. Buggles shouted. Dorcas flinched.

"Does he always need to yell?" she grumbled to Spencer.

"I have muggle careers up here in a fish bowl. Everyone will draw a career. THIS IS YOUR CAREER! You are not to quit, swap, or any other sort of changing. You will write your name next to the career you have chosen, and then write a paper on it. You and your partner will have a budget, during which you will manage your money the way muggles do. Your budget is based on your job."

He sat down, looking weary as the class mulled forward to pick a job out of the bowl.

"What did you get?" Dorcas asked as Spencer unfolded his paper.

"Engineer." He wrinkled his nose. "What's that?"

She smiled as she reached her hand in. " I got school teacher. That's boring," she commented as she wrote it down next to her name on the sheet.

"Better than mine, " Lily said glumly.

"What are you?"

"Sales person. Boring."

"Too bad you can't be a rock star like me," Sirius swaggered forward, writing it next to his name.

"Ridiculous," Lily and Dorcas both swore under their breath.

"Bet you regret marrying Harrison now, don't you?" he grinned as she walked to their table.

"Not really," she responded lightly.

"What's our budget?" he asked.

"Well...mine says I make forty thousand a year...so...like, four thousand a month. What about you?"

"I'm doing one hundred thousand a year," he smiled. "So, I make twice as much as you. I'm doing about nine thousand a month."

She frowned, looking down at their bill sheet. "I think we make enough."

"There are a lot of bills. We chose an expensive house," he frowned as well, writing numbers into the boxes.

"So...after bills and stuff, we're left with, oh wow. More than I thought," she said, surprised.

"Well, we still need groceries and stuff."

"Still. We don't do too bad."

A week later everyone but Dorcas was scrambling on their papers.

"Peter and I are barely making enough money," Mary complained, scribbling words onto her parchment.

"That's why marrying Peter is a bad idea," Shannon quipped as she began adding numbers up on a spare bit of parchment. "Remus and I are okay...we can just never find time to work on this."

"Seriously, Jack Epson is really busy too," Lily complained. "And I'm finished."

"I wish. There are no books on being a housewife," Mary complained.

"How much different can it be from being one here?" Shannon asked.

"I don't know. What's a stove?"

Lily and Dorcas laughed out loud. "You cook food on it. You know what a stove is, silly."

"It's not as complicated as being a doctor," Shannon said. "It's kind of like being a healer, but less effective apparently."

"I wish I could have had rock star. Super easy."

"Yeah, and James was a super model. It's ridiculous, them doing this project," Lily added.

"Tomorrow we get the babies," Dorcas smiled, leaning back in her chair in the library. "One week of James and Sirius carrying around babies will be hilarious."

"There is no way they will be good parents," Mary laughed, and the thought of Sirius and James raising a baby made everyone else feel better about their own situation.

The next day everyone came in looking apprehensively at a large box on Mr. Buggles desk.

"In this box are your BABIES!" he said, shouting the word babies.

"Merlin," Dorcas muttered as Spencer stifled a laugh.

"I will know if you use magic on them. I will know if you abuse them, shake them, dismember them, or drown them in the lake. These babies should be treated like actual babies. Don't leave them unattended in the bathroom while you go play Quidditch. You'll turn them in a week, and then will receive your overall grade for the project."

Mr. Buggles then began giving people their children.

"Spencer and Dorcas, congratulations, you have a girl," he said, handing them a baby that looked an awful lot like the pair of them.

"He magically modified them to look like us. Look at Potter and Blacks kid," he whispered. Dorcas looked up to see a handsome baby in glasses lying stationary on the desk.

"What should we name her?" he wondered.

"Elvendork," Sirius said from his table, shooting her a sarcastic look. "It's unisex you know."

Dorcas and Spencer just stared.

"Um...I don't know...Kelly?" she suggested.

"No...how about Elizabeth?"

"No. Elise?"

He looked thoughtful. "I like Elise," he said.

"Elise Harrison. Sounds good," she smiled.

"Okay, everyone got their babies? Good. I'm turning them on...now!"

Loud wailing began echoing through the room as alarmed parents stared down at their children. Spencer and Dorcas watched as their baby began chewing on it's feet.

"At least it's not crying," he commented, staring at her.

"Er...yeah..." she said, unsure of what to do.

Dorcas and Spencer worked out a schedule for the baby, agreeing on eating together with it every night, to allow it to bond with the pair of them, and switching on and off so every night she slept with a different parent. Elise the baby was well behaved, although Dorcas noticed she cried every time she was anywhere near Professor McGonagal. Sirius and James seemed to be having a breezy time with James Sirius Potter Black Jr. She never saw their baby cry, although she rarely saw them with it to begin with.

Mary had burst into tears one morning in herbology when she was unable to console her crying infant and had to be ushered out by an equally alarmed looking Peter. Lily and Shannon seemed to be doing alright, Shannon and Lily's babys both screamed through every night, causing all the other babies in the dormitory to cry, therefore insuring that by the end of the project, Shannon, Lily, Mary, and Dorcas had had not sleep.

"Thank God this is over," Dorcas told Spencer at lunch as he handed her the baby.

"I didn't think it was too bad," he said, smiling down at the baby.

"Well, four angry babies in one room are not condusive to sleep," Dorcas was too tired to eat, and put her head on Spencer's shoulder.

"Your boyfriend is looking," Spencer told her, sounding alarmed.

"Mghsdhkis," she muttered, half asleep. However, ten seconds later she was forced awake when she was hoisted into the air upside down.

"WHAT THE-"

Just as soon as she was in the air she was back on the ground. "I'm sorry!" she could hear Sirius shouting, but as everyone around her was laughing it was hard to hear.

"I think that was meant for me," Spencer said good naturedly as their baby began to scream. Sirius was kneeling down next to her, helping her up.

"I'm sorry Dora," he said, appearing sincere.

"I hate you," she muttered.

"No you don't," he grabbed her forearm and pulled her to her feet.

"Yes I do." She grabbed baby Elise and stalked off to her muggle studies class. She was the first one there, beating the teacher, which gave her time to think as she held the baby tightly in her arms. Sirius had been impressing her earlier with how good he was with that fake baby. The baby was always laughing and giggling. Lily had been impressed too.

Half of her couldn't stand how natural everything seemed to come to him. She supposed these feelings stemmed from years of resenting him and watching him act more childish the older he got. She partly felt that it was time for him to grow up and act like an adult. How could he fight in a war when he still behaved like a thirteen year old boy?

The other half of her wanted him to hold on to that immaturity as long as he possibly could, because once they stepped out into the war, life was going to age them. She was worried that she would never see that side of him again, and she would miss it. She wanted him, more than anything, to be happy. It was insane to her that she started off this school year day dreaming about Jack Epson, not giving Sirius a second thought. She hadn't considered dating Sirius since she was fourteen and a fourth year, and he had curse Dominic Jones into a cat for putting his hand up her skirt. She had thought about Sirius night and day for a month until he lit her skirt on fire in a bathroom one morning. After that she was so furious that she never considered him anything other than obnoxious...that is, until this year. Maybe this would work. Maybe he could be his silly self while being her boyfriend. There had to be balance somewhere, she wondered if he found it, finally, after seven long years. James seemed to have.

"I'm sorry."

She looked up to see Sirius kneeling in front of her. He put his hands on her thighs, looking directly into her eyes. "I'm sorry. I meant for it to hit Spencer."

"I know. You're ridiculous."

"I would say I don't mean it...but I don't want to lie to you. I'll make it up to you as soon as classes are over today."

"Sirius...he's a really nice guy."

He sat down next to her, taking her hand.

"Yeah yeah yeah. You've been saying it for years." He adopted a high falsetto that was obviously supposed to be an impression of her. "Sirius! Stop hexing him, he's a really nice guy! He didn't mean to put his hand up my skirt!"

"That was different. You really came through that time."

"I could have killed him," he said, his grey eyes clouding over.

"Well, giving him cat ears was good enough I think. It's insane to think you liked me, even back then."

"Hey, Dora, don't get me wrong because I would never say never, but no act of God could ever pull me away from you."

She smiled, setting her head on his shoulder until class started

"Well, you all did good jobs. Some better than others, but I'm pleased to say that this class was my least stressful parenting group in years," Mr. Buggles announced to cheers from the class. "Every project from now on will be a breeze if you aced this."

He walked around turning off everyone's babies and taking them back to the front. James and Sirius faked a huge sobbing fit when he took their son, claiming they would never forget him when Dorcas knew for a fact Sirius would not remember that child's name in a week.

"I know this will be shocking for most, but Mr. Potter and Mr. Black recieved the best marks on this project. I've never had an all male couple do so well," Mr. Buggles smiled at them as Dorcas was unable to contain her laughter. Sirius shot her a dirty look as him and James clasped hands and pressed their cheeks against each other.

"True love knows no gender," James said in a breathy tone.

"Of course not," Mr. Buggles rolled his eyes. "However, because everyone did so well, I'm letting you guys go early. Have a good weekend," he smiled, and, with much excitement, everyone exited the class.

"They are a good couple," Lily remarked as Sirius and James held hands and skipped down the corridor.

"It's scary how good," Dorcas agreed.

Two weeks later marked the end of the term, and Dorcas found herself sitting on the floor of a train compartment while Mary put tiny braids in her hair. Lily and her were chatting about James and Peter, currently, and Dorcas was listening bemusedly.

"Well, so then I said, Pete, if you're going to put shampoo all over the handle, at least let me-"

"Excuse me ladies, is this compartment taken?" James interrupted the conclusion to Mary's story, and the three looked at him with slight irritation.

"Well, actually," Mary started but James cut her off.

"Excellent." Sirius and Peter followed him in.

"We weren't talking or anything," Dorcas muttered as Mary dragged her by her hair closer to the window to make room for the boys.

"Our compartment was overrun," James explained as he scooted closed to Lily.

"Overrun by what?" Lily inquired.

"Hufflepuffs," Sirius told her gloomily.

This caused Dorcas and Mary to burst out laughing while Lily just frowned.

"You're coming over for Christmas, right?" James was asking Lily as they left the train several hours later. Dorcas looked at Sirius, who was shuffling his feet uncomfortably. "I'll see you, James lives three houses down," Dorcas smiled as she caught sight of her parents.

"Yeah." She followed his eye line to see his younger brother Regulus walking away with two people Dorcas remembered as his parents.

"I know you hate them, but your whole family is incredibly good looking," she said in half awe.

"Yeah, too bad they're not good people."

"Dorcas!" her mom enveloped her in a huge hug while her dad chuckled.

"Mom, you're suffocating me," she gasped.

"I missed you!" she announced, kissing her the top of her daughters head.

"Hello Sirius," her dad greeted. Sirius had met her family over the summer, and her dad was rather fond of him.

"Mr. Meadowes," Sirius said politely.

"Call me Kevin," her dad instructed. "There's no need for formality now that you're dating my daughter," he smiled as her mom hugged Sirius.

"You look skinny," she told Dorcas, one arm around her, the other around Sirius as she walked toward their car.

"I swear I've been eating as much chocolate as I can fit in my mouth," Dorcas laughed, poking her mom in the stomach.

"I'm actually staying with James..."Sirius told her parents when they reached the car.

"He only lives a couple houses down," her dad laughed. "We wanted to spend some time with you."

"I'm sure they won't mind," her mom said reassuringly as Dorcas climbed in the back seat.

"So, Dora, what is this I hear about you wanting to fight in the war?" her dad asked sternly once they were on the road.

"Who told you that?" she asked, sounding alarmed.

"Catherine Potter mentioned it," her mom said gently. "She thinks it's great both you and James want to be aurors."

"I just want to try and help end it," Dorcas mumbled, looking out her window.

"Well I think it's ridiculous, you're only seventeen! For gods sake you can't even drive a car!" her dad ranted.

"Then teach me how to drive a car," Dorcas told him reasonably.

"Sirius, can you drive?" her father asked, drawing Sirius into the conversation.

"No sir," he responded automatically.

"Well then you'll both learn. Bloody kids fighting wars before they're even adults..." he muttered like this the whole way home. Her mother attempted to keep the mood light, asking them about school. She seemed amused as they recounted the project they had just done in their muggle studies class.

"Mind if I come in?" Sirius asked when they reached her house, a large white one with several trees on the front lawn.

"No," Dorcas responded as she watched her dad lift their trunks out of the trunk and drag them inside.

"I haven't seen the inside of it, you never invite me in when I'm over with James," he told her.

"That's probably because I was worried you would light my bed room on fire," she joked as they walked in. Sirius looked at how large it was, his eyes landing on a large, carpeted, spiral stair case.

"Up," she urged, jogging up the stairs with him at her heels. They reached the landing and walked past two doors before she opened a third one on the left.

"Wow," he choked back a laugh, looking at how pink her room was.

"Yeah," she mumbled as they walked in.

"The only thing not pink is the carpet," he laughed, looking at the thick gold carpet lining the floor. She had pink walls and a pink bed, pink curtains, and a large white dresser with a mirror.

"Yeah. It's from when I was small," she grumbled, letting him walk over to the dresser. He saw several stationary pictures of her and her parents, one of her and Shannon from when she must have been younger, Shannon, her, Mary, and Lily all grinning from the quidditch stands, there was one of her and James in fake moustaches, and oddly enough, one of her and Remus, both of them sitting with their backs to the camera, heads twisted around to smile and whoever had taken it.

"None of me," he grumbled.

"Well, let's rectify that," she smiled. "MOM! CAN I HAVE THE CAMERA!?" she yelled.

"Oh no..." he muttered.

She grinned. What a good way to end the day.


	9. Death

Hey! I know this chapter is kind of intense, but I was reading a bio of Lily Evans, and it mentioned that she dies around the time she is twenty one. Figuring in that her and James are hiding while she is pregnant with Harry, and then when he is born, that gives them two years to defy Voldermort three times. So...thought I'd give the four of them a good reason to want to join the Order immediately, and also show Peter how scary the war was on the losing side. :D

* * *

"The irony of man's condition is that the deepest need is to be free of the anxiety of death and annihilation; but it is life itself which awakens it and so we must shrink from being fully alive."

-Ernest Becker

It was Christmas Eve and everyone was gathered at the Potters's house. This was a fact that everyone was aware of, including members of a group called Death Eaters.

"Kill them," Lord Voldermort was ordering senior members.

"Everyone?" one of the hooded men inquired. "Including the school children?"

"Everyone," Voldermort turned to give him a look that could scare the most hardened wizard. "Don't let one person walk out of that room alive. This will be an example to anyone who wishes to oppose me."

Meanwhile, at the Potters, several seventeen year old kids were gathered in the back yard in the snow. A handsome boy was twirling a pretty blond around in the air.

"Sirius!" Dorcas Meadowes laughed loudly, unaware of the danger heading towards them. "Put me down!"

"No!" he shouted loudly, causing a pretty red head to look over and smile.

Lily Evans was standing ten feet away with James Potter, talking about random, unimportant things.

"You kids coming in?" Irene Meadowes was inside with Catherine Potter, helping to plan the party. Their kids were unaware Dumbledore had recruited them into his new organization, The Order of the Phoenix, and had been targeted for death.

"Yeah," Dorcas laughed, grabbing Sirius's hand and dragging him inside. "We can come back out later."

He was smiling like an idiot. "Remus or Peter coming over?" he asked.

"Pete is, but I don't think Remus can make it," James said, giving Sirius a significant look.

"Are we missing something here?" Lily asked, catching the look.

"Missing what?" James asked, looking innocent.

"Oh we totally are, look at innocent he looks," Dorcas laughed as the someone knocked on the door.

"Kevin!" Dorcas's mom shouted from the kitchen. "Can you get that?"

Her dad walked past them, putting a kiss on Dorcas's head while flipping a towel onto his shoulder. "Sure."

Dorcas watched her dad walk out of the room, smiling as he went.

"Hey Mr. M!" Sirius shouted, following her dad out as Dorcas went with Lily and James into the kitchen.

"Who is it?!" Dorcas's mom asked. Just as soon as she asked she heard her dad yell, "IRENE! GET THE KIDS-" and then a crash. Catherina and Irene looked at each other, exchanging a terrified look before they both ran into the living room. Tiberius Potter was already there.

"James! Get them out of here!" he shouted at the four who were staring at Kevin Meadowes in shock. Dorcas couldn't move, thoughts were not processing through her brain as she looked at her dad laying dead on the floor. He had fallen backwards and crashed through a glass coffee table.

"Dorcas-" Sirius grabbed her and pulled her out of the way of a spell shot at them. There were five death eaters, all masked, in their home, dueling with their parents.

"No. No, we can't go," she said numbly as Sirius began dragging her out of the room.

"We can't!" James was roaring from the back yard.

"My wand," Dorcas said, and before anyone could stop her she was running back into the house, her blond hair flying out behind her as she raced into the house.

"NO!" her mother screamed as two men began chasing her up the stairs. She dodged a sloppily aimed spell and pulled James's door open, saw her wand lying on the bed, flipped over it and she grabbed it, and shot a stunning spell from behind the bed. She shot another spell blindly over the bed, heard someone grunt and then a thud, and looked up. James was standing in the hallway with Sirius looking manic.

"Where's Lily?" she asked, shooting another curse at one of the masked men.

"Downstairs," James panted, and it was clear he was desperate to get down there with his family and girlfriend.

"CONCENTRATE!" Sirius roared as a killing curse just barely missed Dorcas, instead hitting a window behind her, shattering it. From downstairs they could hear screaming and the shattering of glass, and Dorcas wondered who was winning.

"BEHIND YOU!" she yelled, throwing another stunning spell at two more Death Eaters behind Sirius and James. The two immediately stood back to back and began dueling. Lily appeared and shot a well placed spell at the back on the one Sirius was dueling, causing him to crumple on the ground, errupting in large, angry red welts.

"Nice!" Sirius said as him, her, and James took on the other three. Dorcas was engaged with the one who had chased her up the stairs. He had come close to killing her several times. She watched in curiousity as the clutched at his forearm before running at her, grabbing a hold of her, and throwing them both out of the window.

"DORCAS!" she head her friends screaming, but if felt like everything was moving in slow motion. The man let go of her and did a weird twisting motion in the air, and then he was gone, and she was still falling.

She hit the snow, landing on something soft, her wand landing several feet near her. A man with a rough face was looking up at her, but before he could speak she kicked his legs out from underneath him, making him land on his back.

"Stop it!" someone was grabbing her from behind. It was Mr. Potter. "It's Alastor. He's here to help!" he was saying, but the words weren't registering with her, and she began struggling hard against him, attempting to get her wand. More arms were around her. and then Albus Dumbledore was standing there, and she stopped fighting.

"Mom..." she whispered, looking up into his serious face.

"Alastor, give Ms. Meadowes her wand back, if you don't mind," he said, and her wand was put back into her hand as Mr. Potter released her and only Sirius was holding hard onto her.

"We need to get them out of here," a voice that sounded suspiciously of McGonagals came from the right.

"In a moment, Minerva," Dumbledore responded, and he disappeared from Dorcas's eyeline and into James's house.

"Let me go," she whispered.

"No," Sirius said into her hair, and it sounded like he was crying.

"Please," she begged quietly, turning her face to face him, letting her forehead touch his. "I have to see my mom..."

"Dora..." he mumured, confirming her worst suspicions. Beside her James knelt down, his face pale and drawn, and it scared her. She couldn't see Lily.

"Lily?" she called out hoarsly.

"I'm here," Lily called back, her feet crunching behind them somewhere in the snow. Several minutes, or years, Dorcas couldn't tell, Dumbledore appeared again. He gently lifted Sirius up, leaving Dorcas still sitting there blankly in the snow.

"Miss Meadowes, would you mind coming inside with me and Mr. Potter?" he asked gently. She nodded numbly, and he helped her to her feet. James walked into the house with them, and the destruction didn't seem real. They both stopped dead in the doorway, looking in. She saw her dad still lying on the smashed coffee table, his look of panic still etched on his face. Further into the room she saw Catherine Potter lying on her face, completely still. She stole a glance at James, who was staring at his mother, his face sheet white. Her eyes left his face and traveled from the sitting room to the stairs where she finally saw her mom, lying across several stairs, her hand outstreatched. Her last moments had been trying to reach her, upstairs in James's room.

"Mom.." she whispered, yanking her arm out of Dumbledores grip and running to her mom lying on the stair case. She threw herself on her moms still body, which was still warm, wrapping her arms around her body. "Mom, I'm sorry. Mom, please wake up!" she was crying, but none of it was registering with her.

"Dorcas," Dumbledore was kneeling next to her.

"NO!" she shouted, throwing him off her. "Mom, please get up!"

Sirius heard Dorcas yelling, and against Tiberius's ordered, ran into the house to see his best friend stopped dead in the doorway, looking at all the death.

"What happened..." Sirius breathed, looking at Catherine Potter, who had been practically a mother to him, lying on the floor.

Lily shuffled uncomfortably behind them all, looking at Professor McGonagall with tears in her eyes. This was not what any of them had expected.

"Miss Meadowes," Dumbledore said again, and this time Dorcas released her grip on her mother, instead throwing her arms around her Headmaster.

"Why?" she was crying into his robes over and over as Dumbledore patted her on the back. In the course of fifteen minutes she had gone from having two parents who loved her to having no parents at all.

She felt someone pulling her off Dumbledore, and then she was in the air in Sirius's arms and back in the cold weather.

"If you would," she could hear someone say.

"Hold on tight, Dora," Sirius whispered, and she buried her face into his neck as she gripped him tightly. It felt like she was being pulled from the inside out while being compressed, and then the feeling was gone. She opened her eyes, but didn't recognize where she was.

"Albus! What happened?" she could hear voices around her, but couldn't distinguish then from another as they were in a home, and it was bright. She squeezed her eyes shut to block out the light, wanting to just sleep.

"Death Eaters," she heard Dumbledore explain quietly.

"No!" someone exclaimed. "Where is Irene? And Catherine?"

"Gone." That was Tiberius's voice cracking. She recognized it, even with her eyes shut. It was silent for several more moments.

"How could this happen?" someone asked.

"How did they make it out alive?" a different voice, obviously indicating the four of them.

No one answered that, and she felt Sirius moving, and a door shut behind them. Sirius set her down on a bed, and she finally opened her eyes. The four of them sat in there with Dumbledore and Mr. Potter.

"I don't want to lie to you," Dumbledore began softly, sitting on the edge of the bed Dorcas was on. "Your parents were involved in an organization created to try and stop a man you know as Lord Voldermort.

Dorcas sat up and listened as Dumbledore contiuned. "It appears they were targeted tonight. We thought they would be safe, I didn't think about Death Eaters coming to call while you were there...Dorcas...I am terribly sorry for your losses. Your parents were really excellent people."

She nodded. Dumbledore hadn't wanted this, and her parents had died trying to prevent her from having to live her whole life in a war. Could she be mad at them for that? Her mother had died trying to protect her. Is it any less than what she would have done?

"I want to join," she spoke, her voice sounding strange in her own ears. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled a bit, but his face remained very serious.

"It is something I would ask you to consider once you graduate, but until then my answer is no."

"When I'm out though, you'll reconsider?" she asked.

He smiled. "Yes. All of you fought very bravely, an equal to any member in the Order of the Phoenix."

She looked at Lily, who had her jaw set, to James, who was looking at his dad with determination, and finally to Sirius who had a look of fury on his face. She doubted she would be the only one asking to join when they left the school.

"For now, get some sleep," he said, and, after patting Dorcas's leg softly, left, James and Mr. Potter following.

Lily came and sat down next to Dorcas and Sirius, and the three spent the night crying softly to each other until they eventually fell asleep.

The rest of break passed very slowly for Dorcas, who spent Christmas holed up in the small room they were staying in. They were all camped out in Fabian and Gideon Prewett's home. She hadn't touched any of the gifts that had been sent over from her parent's home. She had a feeling Dumbledore had had them sent over for her. She was afraid of what would happen once she opened them, and knew that these gifts were the last things from her parents she had to hold onto, and she was going to keep them a secret for as long as she could.

Dumbledore had also found her parents will, which left everything to her. She had inherited not only all their gold, but the family home, the car her dad had been teaching her and Sirius to drive, and everything inside it. Several people has offered to take her back there, but she refused, so instead Lily went and gathered up all of Dorcas's stuff and bringing over her trunk and owl.

Everyone kept their distance, and Dorcas remained withdrawn. James would come in, and the two would lock the doors, and no one knew what went on in that room. Sirius and Lily kept a respecable distance.

James and Dorcas were planning. They were going through text books, memorizing spells and other useful things to prepare them, neither of them were ever going to be caught unawares like that ever again. James and Dorcas both had considered including Lily and Sirius, but couldn't bring them to share their pain with their friends, and so they kept themselves shut in.

New years was the first time Dorcas came out, looking like herself again. Sirius was sitting at a table playing gobstones with Fabian Prewett and Frank Longbottom. Both had been Gryffindors, Fabian graduating two years before, and Frank had been just a year ahead of them when Dorcas walked out in a familar looking yellow dress and heels. Her hair was wavy, and looked longer, and her eyes were bright and blue, and she looked alive.

"We were wondering if you were going to join us to ring in the new year," Gideon noticed her from a living room where he sat with Alice, Lily, and James. Sirius turned around in his seat to see her looking at him. She smiled, and he jumped out of his chair and wrapped his arms around her.

"New year is in two hours," he said, looking her in the face.

"Yeah. Let's hope it brings new and better things," she said back, kissing him softly on the mouth.

There was some cheering and a few cat calls, but they both ignored it. Sirius dipped her low to the ground and kissed her again before bringing her back up and hugging her tight.

"I'll never let anything ever hurt you. Ever again," he whispered fiercely.

She just smiled at him, unable to tell him what she had already resolved on her own. This was was going to kill her, and she was unafraid to die.


	10. Break up and back together

_"Love and electricity are one in the same, my dear. If you do not feel the jolt in your soul every time a kiss is shared, a whisper is spoken, a touch is felt, then your not really in love at all."_

_-C.J. Franks  
_

We need to talk. The sentence Sirius had been dreading, yet somehow knew was coming. Ever since her parents had been murdered Dorcas had withdrawn from everyone. Sirius would have been lying to himself if he hadn't expected it.

"Sirius, we need to talk," Dorcas told him, pulling him aside while everyone else began to go through the barrier.

"Okay. Can it wait?" he asked, desperate to prolong the moment.

"No."

"Okay." He took a deep breath and looked at her.

"I think I need some time apart. It's not you, really, it's me. I just...I want to be alone right now, to grieve and remember my family, and it's not fair to you to make you wait." she said slowly, determined not to cry.

"I don't mind waiting," he interjected quickly.

"I don't want you to wait. I want you to move on, okay?"

Sirius couldn't look at her anymore. "What, you want me to date other people and forget that I love you?"

She just shrugged. "Whatever you need to."

He stared at her for a moment, and then walked through the barrier. He didn't want her to see him at the moment, he knew his face was betraying him, and no matter how nonchalant he wanted to appear, her words cut like a knife. He felt like, for the first time, he had something good that was exclusively his, and now she didn't want him.

"Hey Padfoot. What took you....are you okay?" James asked, his grin fading.

"Yeah. Totally fine," he mumbled, stepping into a compartment with James and Remus. Dorcas didn't come in, even when Lily and Mary did, and he wondered where she was and what she was doing. At dinner she sat in her usual spot, in between Shannon and Mary, but she didn't talk to him, and he didn't look at her. He was looking at the other girls in the crowd trying to remember if any of them were pretty.

He did this continuously for a week, trying not to compare them to Dorcas, but in the end he gave up.

"The only way to get over her is to date another girl," James advised one night during Sirius's sulking session.

"I don't want to date another girl," he said moodily, watching her laugh at something Shannon was saying.

"Well you should," Peter piped up. "If nothing else, it could make her jealous."

"I don't want to use someone," Sirius snapped.

"I think Sirius has shown remarkable maturity," Remus commented, also looking over at Dorcas. "And I think Dorcas misses you."

Sirius's head snapped up. "Why do you think that?"

"I agree with Remus," James said. "I know her pretty well. I think she's just worried that she'll get you killed too, she feels pretty guilty over her parent's deaths."

"How? It wasn't even her fault!" he said, causing several people near them to look over at them alarmed.

"Don't yell Sirius," Remus said, casting a glance at Dorcas. She didn't seem to have noticed. "It's just survivors guilt."

"She'll come around, just give her time."

"What did you say again, Pete?" Sirius asked, giving Dorcas one last glance.

"Make her jealous?"

"Yeah. I like that."

* * *

"Hey...um...Dor, can I talk to you?" Shannon and Lily intercepted Dorcas on their walk back from Herbology.

"Sure. What's going on?" she asked cheerfully, watching Sirius as he walked several feet ahead of her.

"Well...don't get mad, but...Sirius is seeing someone," Shannon breathed out quickly.

"Why would I be mad?" Dorcas asked, flipping some of her hair behind her shoulders.

"Because....well, you're in love with him," Lily said as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I told him to see other people," Dorcas reminded them reasonably.

"Yeah...well. Okay. If it doesn't bother you, then no problem. We just wanted you to hear it from friends and not actually see it," Shannon said, shrugging.

"Who is she?" Dorcas asked.

"Cathy Miller," Lily replied, and the three all wrinkled their noses in disgust. Cathy was a seventh year Ravenclaw who was generally thought to be beautiful, though the Gryffindor girls all found her shallow and insipid.

"What?!" Dorcas said, feeling a pang of jealousy. "Cathy Miller?"

Her eyes were assaulted by Sirius greeting Cathy with a hug, and then offering to take her books. "No way..."

"That's what I said," Shannon said, also watching. "I thought Sirius had better taste than that."

"He does," Lily reminded them. "Dorcas, you're being stupid. You're going to lose him, and then you'll regret it. Ask for him back."

"No. If he wants to date other girls I am certainly not going to get in the way of that," she said, her pride getting in the way of how bad it felt to see him with another girl. She had thought for sure he would wait for her. Watching him with, tall, skinny, pretty Cathy made her want to scream and cry and hit something, but she was not going to show him that.

"Um...Dorcas..." Shannon murmured. "Are you okay?"

"Fine!" she replied too brightly. "Just fine."

* * *

"Dorcas!" Jack Epson was chasing after her, weaving his way in and out of students, one of whom included Sirius Black.

"Hey," she smiled, fingering the strap to her back pack.

"Hogsmead visit is tomorrow, and I noticed you're not with Black anymore. Go with me?" he asked in a rush. She kept walking and staring straight ahead. Behind her she heard someone swear loudly.

"Sure, why not?" she responded with a large smile, causing him to grab her hand and squeeze it once.

"Great. I'll meet you at your portrait. Sound good?"

"Yeah, sounds great. See you then," she said as she began walking up a stair case.

"What the hell was that?!" Sirius had caught up to her in about two seconds.

"What was what?" she asked, not looking at his face.

"THAT. A date with Epson!" he asked angrily.

"We've been over this Sirius," she snapped. "I thought I'd like to go out with someone, and he asked."

"What about me?"

"What about you? Aren't you the one seeing Cathy?" she asked, stepping through the portrait hole.

He cursed softly to himself. This was not what was supposed to happen. She was supposed to see him with Cathy and tell him she wanted him back, and everything would work out. She was not supposed to start seeing Jack Epson.

"Did you like him the whole time you were with me?" he asked accusingly.

"Yep, you caught me," she spat sarcastically as she rounded on him. "Everytime I was kissing you, I was thinking about him!"

"I hate you!" he yelled impulsively.

"Good. That makes two of us!" she spun on her heel and ran up into the girls dormitory.

"AHHHH!" Sirius yelled, grabbing a book and throwing it against a wall.

"Sirius!" Remus and James grabbed him as tried to run at the wall.

"What are you doing?!" James shouted as they restrained him.

"She's dating JACK!" he roared, sure the whole castle could hear him.

"I told you she would not respond positively to you dating another girl," Remus panted logically.

"AHHH!" Sirius shouted again, and the two drug him out of the common room and towards the kitchens.

* * *

"You look great," Mary told Dorcas as she looked in the mirror obsessively. Dorcas was in a knee length tan skirt that was swishy at the bottom. She had knee length flat boots on that came up to her knees, a long sleeved white shirt and a matching tan two buttoned jacket. Her hair was curled meticulously, and her make up made it look like she was barely wearing any at all.

"I think I'm ready to go," she said, finally looking satisfied.

"What I don't understand is why you're even wasting time with Jack when you know don't want to be with him," Lily was very against this whole arrangement. "Just tell Sirius you are in love with him."

"Can you just stop talking Lily? For five minutes?" Dorcas asked as she left the room, taking the steps two at a time. When she got to the bottom she ran into Sirius. He was standing there in a dark black turtle neck and jeans, his hair falling perfectly into his face. His face was dark and unreadable, and Dorcas bit her lip to keep her from gasping.

"Dora," he said softly.

"Sirius," she tried to side step around him, but he was prepared for her.

"You look..." he trailed off, giving her goosebumps.

"I'm late, Sirius," she said, but her voice sounded weak, even to her. This however, seemed to be the magic phrase because he stepped to the side, allowing her to walk past him. Dorcas walked away quickly, afraid her knees would give out if she looked back and she would start begging to have him back. Agreeing to see Jack was a mistake, she could tell that already. She was just going to hurt him, and piss him off, which is not what she wanted.

"Hey," Jack greeted her, taking her hand.

"Hey," she mumbled, removing hers quickly. He didn't seem daunted, and they walked out into the cold January weather.

"You look really nice," he smiled, and she could tell he was happy.

The two chattered about things on and off on the whole way to the village, and Dorcas found herself having fun although she couldn't get the image of Sirius out of her head. He didn't show up anywhere she was in Hogsmead, although she did see him talking quietly to Cathy, who looked angry at him. Jack noticed her looking, but didn't say anything, and neither did she. She was afriad of what would happen if she said something about Sirius to Jack.

Jack walked her back up to the castle, handing her a small purple bag full of Bertie Bot's. "I had fun," he said.

"I did too," she shuffled her feet awkwardly.

"I'd like to do it again, but I don't think you want to," he said softly, putting a finger under her chin and lifting her face up to his. "Before I let you go though, I'd like it if you let me..." and she stood up on tip toes and kissed up. She wanted to feel something, anything like she did with Sirius. Jack wrapped an arm around her, but she was aware of everything going on around her. With Sirius years could pass and she didn't notice, but she was hyper aware of everything going on around her.

When they broke apart she smiled. "You're a great guy, Jack."

He just nodded. "Thanks Dora."

And then she was gone, running as fast as she could, up stairs and through hallways as fast as she could, skidding dangerously when they turned left and right.

"HABBERDASHER!" she shouted at the portrait from twenty feet away, doing a running jump into it. Her eyes locked on him immediately, standing at the edge of the stairs facing her. His face was lit up in a smile, laughing with James who was couple steps behind him. She ran into the room, jumping over a chair and knocking over a second year. He caught sight of her right before she launched herself into his arms, pressing her mouth onto his hard. Sirius grabbed her and lifted her into the air, kissing her back as he pressed her against wall.

"The only thing I still believe in is you," she breathed in between kisses.

He didn't say anything back, just continued kissing her.

"Well good," Lily said, although neither of them heard it.

"How come you don't let me kiss you like that?" James asked, watching curiously.

"Because I have dignity," Lily sniffed, but she kissed James' cheek all the same.

* * *

"Bitch," a voice hissed behind Dorcas. She was walking late to the bathrooms pajama pants and a bath robe, in a good mood at having her boyfriend back.

"Excuse me?" Dorcas took around to see Cathy walking behind her.

"I'm sorry, can you not hear? I called you a bitch."

"Yeah, I thought you might have said that. Any particular reason why?" Dorcas paused in the hallway, prepared for a showdown.

"You stole my boyfriend," Cathy walked into Dorcas's personal space, her arms crossed across her chest.

"No, I let you borrow him for a moment. He was never yours," Dorcas said sweetly, taking a step back.

"Whatever. You only wanted him when you saw him with me."

"No, I wanted some space to grieve over something personal and gave Sirius some space as well. It's not my fault he decided he'd rather wait for me than date you."

"You're such a stuck up bitch!" Cathy swore. "You are not worth my time."

Dorcas just stared as Cathy walked past her, angry and confused. Cathy called her out, and then walked away like Dorcas had started it.

"Mental," she swore under her breath and then began her walk back to the bath room.

Twenty minutes later Dorcas walked into the common room to find it nearly deserted. James and Sirius were still up, but seemed ingrossed in different projects. Several third years were up, and a couple other kids were littered about. Dorcas ignored them and pulled the towel out of her hair, shaking it out and running her fingers quickly through.

"Hey pretty lady, why don't you come my way!" Sirius called over from his arm chair. She hesitated at the grin on his face, but the Cathy altercation replayed in her mind, and she walked over, sitting in his lap. Sirius wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hey there," she grinned.

"Hey to you," he whispered, and began kissing her.

"Get a room!" grumbled James, getting up to leave, but the two didn't seen to notice.


	11. Roommates

"With you I know that I am good for something, so lets go and give it a try."

-Theory of a Dead Man

"You!" Sirius ran into the common room where Dorcas was sitting, pointing accusingly at her.

"Me?" she asked confused, looking at Shannon for a clue as to what was going on. Shannon just shrugged.

"I need you!" he continued enthusiastically, grabbing her wrist and dragging her out with him.

"Sirius what is going on?" she asked as they ran down the hallways.

"I need you to see something!" he said back, causing Dorcas to dig her heels into the floor, effectively stopping them both.

"Sirius, we both know that whatever you want me to 'see' is probably a terrible idea and is most likely going to cause you to end up in detention and me to end up dead or worse," she put her hands on her hips, trying to give him a saucy look.

Sirius's eyebrows shot up into his hair. "That look is incredibly hot," He began walking toward her until her back was up against a wall, his mouth slowly descending on hers.

"You were showing me something," she breathed, her mouth inches from his.

"It can wait for a minute," he whispered back before he began to kiss her.

Unfortunately, it was almost immediately interrupted by James.

"You are impossible!" James whined, causing Dorcas to jump in the air and elbow Sirius in the face.

"OW! JAMES!" Sirius shouted, his hand over his cheek.

"Not my fault mate, you've really got to learn some self-control, this is way too cool to get caught up kissing some girl," James responded dismissively, causing Dorcas to put both of her hands on her hips and Sirius to splutter confusedly.

"So, let me get this right. If Lily had been standing there saying, 'Kiss me James, I need you,' you could keep yourself in check?" Dorcas asked, her eyebrows cocked.

"Yeah, I could," James answered looking angelic.

"James, kiss me, I need you," came Lily's voice from behind James. James wasted absolutely no time pinning her to a wall and trying to kiss her.

"JAMES! James knock it off, I was kidding!" she was laughing and she pushed him away. "I was just trying to prove Dorcas' point!"

"Thanks," Sirius smiled, still rubbing his cheek bone.

"Where is he trying to take me?" Dorcas asked as the four walked up a flight of stairs.

"The kitchens," Lily said promptly, making Sirius and James make noises of protest.

"You ruined the surprise!" Sirius protested as both girls ignored them.

"They found the kitchens?" Dorcas asked surprised.

"How else do you think we get all that food for my Quidditch wins?" James asked, draping an arm around Lily. Lily continued to ignore James.

"Yeah, and I practically begged him to take me, and Sirius wanted to show you. I think he is trying to impress you."

"Hey! I don't have to impress Dora with my ability to steal food! Hello, have you seen my face?"

Dorcas rolled her eyes as they stopped in front of a painting of a bowl of fruit. Sirius walked up too it, threw Dorcas a smug look, and tickled the pear.

"Wow!" Dorcas climbed through the painting.

"You have a pretty cool boyfriend, huh?" Sirius said, lacing his fingers through hers.

"Yes I do," Dorcas leaned up to kiss Sirius through James' puking noises.

* * *

"Roommates!" Mr. Buggles shouted, causing Dorcas to jump clean out of her chair and fall to the floor. Sirius and James began sniggering.

"Muggles do it as part of a growing up ritual, and I want all of you to participate in this too. For a week you will spend your time with one other individual, during which I expect you to keep a journal detailing your experience. I will pair you off, some of you will be living with a member of the opposite sex. Those of you living with a member of the opposite sex will be expected to behave with the utmost maturity. I have never had a problem with this before and I will be highly disappointed if you are the first class to have issues with this assignment. Alright. Here are your new roommates.

"Bennington and Evans," he started smiling at Shannon. Lily and Shannon high fived. Dorcas made eyes at Mary, hoping to get her as a partner.

"Epson and Pettigrew," he continued. Jack looked disappointed to be sharing a place with Peter.

"Harrison and Potter. Meadowes and Black..."

"You've got to be kidding me!" James whispered, looking back at Dorcas, who looked just as surprised. Sirius looked smugger than Dorcas had ever seen him.

"Now that you know who you are living with, you can come pick up your key and begin the assignment. Anyone with questions should consult the parchment packet I have lying on the top of my desk."

Dorcas stood up and grabbed her key and an info packet and met Sirius outside of the door. He was lounging against the wall, his dark hair falling into his face.

"Oh Merlin, wipe that look off your face," she said walking past him and flipping open their packet.

"Awww, c'mon, you can't tell me you're not a little excited that we're finally doing a project together! I was so sure he was going to put you with Epson or Harrison again, this is much better."

"Are we even ready for something like this?" she asked, trying to keep the nerves out of her voice.

Sirius threw an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "Of course we are, it's just living in the same space, it's not marriage."

"I know..." she mumbled, looking down at her feet as he steered her up more steps.

"I just want to check this place out, apparently it has it's own bathroom which is awesome, I hate having to sneak into prefect bathrooms all the time to take a decent bath. Plus it's all the way up in the only tower I've never really explored, so that's cool."

"Yep," she muttered knowing he was totally unaware to her mood.

"What's the number on the key?" he asked as he fumbled for his.

"Twelve," she replied as she placed the key into the lock and pushing the door open.

"Wow...this is..."

"Small?" she supplied, looking around.

"No, it's actually better than what I had pictured," he smiled, stepping inside. "I kind of love it."

"Isn't your house ten times larger?" she asked, taking in the furnished living room, complete with a fireplace and mismatched furniture. Sirius just grimaced and walked down a small hallway.

"A bathroom!" he called to her, and she followed down and poked her head into the room. It was small, like closet small, complete with a standing shower, a sink, and a toilet.

"This is going to be a nightmare," she sighed, turning and opening a door adjacent to the bathroom. There she found a small bedroom furnished only with a small bed.

"I don't know why you keep saying this, I think this is going to be great," he said, joining her in the small room, his arm around her waist. She just smiled up at him and gave him a kiss.

The next morning everyone officially started their project, and it seemed like everyone was dreading it, the exception being Sirius.

"I don't know," Lily was saying morosely. "It just seems like a good way to ruin friendships."

"Aw, no, this is going to be a lot more fun than you think," Sirius reassured her.

"Speak for yourself, you're not spending your nights with a Ravenclaw," James picked at his breakfast, not really eating anything. Dorcas personally agreed with Lily, thinking this project was going to ruin the way her and Sirius felt about the other as they all walked off their separate ways to go to class. The end of the day went by way too fast for Dorcas, and before she knew it she was trudging up the stairs for her first night alone with Sirius. She was surprised, when she walked up, to see him lounging on one of the ugly blue sofas with a book propped up on his knees.

"You're reading?" she asked, setting her back down next to the door.

"It's been known to happen on occasion," he smiled at her, setting the book down and sitting up, allowing her to join him.

"I don't think I've ever seen you do it," she commented, picking up the book. "Ah, but of course, 'Jinxing For The Modern Jinxer. Well it suits you."

Sirius shot her his trademark grin. "You know me, gotta stay current baby."

She smiled back at him, letting him wrap her up in arms. "This is what I've wanted, just some solid time alone with you, so I could hold you close and tell you how much I love you," he whispered into her hair. She closed her eyes, breathing in his scent, letting her head fall back on his shoulder.

"We spend so much time around all these other people, I never thought I'd get another chance like this, and now I get a whole week with nothing but you. I want you to fall asleep next to me every night, so your beautiful face is the first thing I see every morning when I wake up. You are easily the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I know I don't always let you know."

"Sirius, I know you love me, you don't have to do anything other than just be you. You're so amazing, you know?" she told him, brushing a stray piece of her hair out of her face and onto his shoulder.

He just smiled, kissing the top of her head. "All the same. You are the first person who has really made me feel like I am worth something just because I breath, y'know?"

She nodded, feeling a rush of sympathy for Sirius and the terrible upbringing she knew he must have had, parents who judged everyone's worth based on how pure their blood was rather than their personality.

"Well you are worth something, and not just to me," she murmured. "And I love you so much, just because of who you are. I wouldn't change anything about you Sirius Black."

He turned her around, smiling, and began kissing her, and Dorcas couldn't help feeling like maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all...


End file.
